More harsh rhetoric from North Korea


#1

PYONGYANG (KCNA) — At an enlarged meeting of the Political Bureau of the Central Committee of the Workers’ Party of Korea, a special military tribunal of the DPRK Ministry of State Security was held against the corpse of Rob Ford, traitor for all ages.

The world public will never forget the malignant slanders uttered by formerly alive Ford, the enemy of the party and the revolution and a servant of the fascist clique of South Korea.

All the crimes committed by the accused will be proved in the course of the hearing and will be admitted to.

When Ford was still upright he attempted to make a false report to the party without having agreement with the Cabinet and the relevant ministry on the issue related to the state construction control organization, officials concerned expressed just opinion that Ford’s behavior was contrary to the laws worked out by Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il.

Ford went so rude as to take in the middle even those things associated with intense loyalty and sincerity of our army and people towards the party and the leader and distribute them among confidants in an effort to take credit for doing so.

Ford was a hooligan bereft of any personality as a human being, drenched various parts of the world in blood, and will find that their frantic attempts to stifle the DPRK will be brought to an end.

Abusing the honor of often accompanying Kim Jong Un during his field guidance, Ford tried hard to create illusion about him by projecting himself internally and externally as a special being on a par with the headquarters of the revolution.

In a bid to rally a group of reactionaries to be used for toppling the leadership of the party and state, Ford let the undesirable and alien elements, including those who had been dismissed and relieved of their posts after being severely punished for disobeying the instructions of Kim Jong Il and kowtowing to him work in a department of the Central Committee of the WPK and organs under it in a crafty manner.

All facts go to clearly prove that Ford was a thrice-cursed traitor without an equal in the world, who had desperately worked for years to destabilize and bring down the DPRK. The hateful and despicable nature of these anti-party, anti-state and unpopular crimes will be fully disclosed in the course of the trial. No matter how much water flows under the bridge and no matter how frequently a generation is replaced by new one, the lineage of Paektu will remain unchanged and irreplaceable.

No one in the world can stand in the way of the army and people who are advancing single-mindedly united around supreme leader Kim Jong Un under the banner of great Kimilsungism-Kimjongilism.


#2

Does the DPRK puff up like this every mundane municipal leader who dies? Send this word salad back to the kitchen, it contains too much hyperbole.


#3

I think this particular word salad may have come from “North Korea.”


#4

Pssst, read the text below the map:


#5

Sorry; I should have been clearer there.

The scarequotes were intended to mean fake North Korea. I think this denouncement of Rob Ford is a parody.


#6

You mean the real DPRK doesn’t have a cherry bomb on their flag??


#7

That is my sincere belief.


#8

I’ve been Poe’d, it’s absolutely indistinguishable from actual DPRK news releases.


#9

I assume that somewhere out there exists a DPRK-issued denouncement of the organization that writes these parody press releases and absolutely no one is sure if it’s legitimate or not.


#10

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