More promises an ugly truck will enter production

Originally published at: More promises an ugly truck will enter production | Boing Boing

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I don’t see it happening. It’s not a serious design, they clearly never intended it to go into production. Adding a windshield wiper (one, just one, that only covers half the window) was an afterthought, FFS. The rest of the vehicle is no better.

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Looks like something a 6th grader could make out of sheet metal and a brake in shop class.

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I think you mean Pontiac Aztek? Which was definitely an ugly car.

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For illustrative purposes:


Fugly, to the max.

Oooh, maybe he was thinking of the Chevy Avalanche. Also rather unattractive.

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Thanks. I had forgotten Pontiac even existed. I had a friend who made owning a Fiero cool.

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Yeah, nobody who actually uses a truck wants this. I can’t count the ways this is impractical for actual truck use; the bed not having flat sides precludes having a cap, rails and a ton of hauling options (try throwing something over the side of that damn thing). Not to mention all of the “innovations” like the missing wipers that only sound interesting if you assume they’re never going to encounter actual weather or usage. Does a contractor really want to go on their damn phone to open the door? With a handful of crap from Lowe’s?

Of course, at this point trucks have become 50/50 work vehicles and Suburban kid haulers (don’t even get me started on all the Texas trucks that have never worked a day in their lives). And since Elon has now appointed himself the premier right wing grievance ambassador, I’m sure he’ll sell plenty to people who want to own the libs.

Also, the most important aspect of truck ownership:

IMG_3529

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But they built excitement!

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I wonder how much more room I’d have in my brain if I could delete all of the marketing copy from my childhood? :thinking:

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If anyone in the UK was interested in this product, I could refer to it as the Tesla KhyberSuck, but that doesn’t translate for US audiences :cry:

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if they’re this close to “production”, surely they’d have factories setup for it? where will it be produced? what staff will be making it? if it’s all existing facilities and personnel, doesn’t that cut into car production? and if so, which car line is being shelved?

important questions shareholders - and auto journalists - might want to ask…

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I can’t remember the name of the program but I remember tinkering around with an old bit of educational software from the late 80s or early 90s that let you design an automobile and then run it through its paces on a virtual test track to check its performance, handling and aerodynamics. But it was made for computers that had limited graphic processing power so all the cars were low-polygon deals. We’d usually try to make something that looked cool or at least distinct, but in practice those were the cars that tended to have the worst performance.

That’s what this design always reminded me of.

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Elon is the master of vaporware. Remember The Boring Company? In 2016, Elon decided he wanted to create tunnels to avoid surface traffic:

In the years since, the company built a 1.7-mile-long tunnel under the Las Vegas convention center, in which passengers are ferried back and forth in human-driven Teslas. Proposed projects in Los Angeles, Chicago, and Baltimore were scrapped. But that hasn’t stopped cities large and small, in California, Kentucky, Texas, Florida, and elsewhere, from expressing interest in building tunnels for cars. But as Curbed’s Alissa Walker explains on Today, Explained, the company is continually ghosting these cities once they bump into permitting issues or other infrastructural complexities.

Once again, Elon demonstrates the supreme privilege of the White Tech Bro. He feels he can walk into any room, anywhere in the world, and not only be the smartest person in the room but know more about a field than people who have been in that field for decades, simply by virtue of his supposed genius.

But The Boring Company has succeeded at one thing: inducing cities into buying into his cockamamie idea and staving off actual public transit projects.

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Makes me think of:
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Which is unfortunate because I really enjoyed that game.

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Stolen from Irish cycling Mastodon. I didn’t se the original though I guess I could find it.

ETA not 50/50 36/64
ETA I even tried to get the numbers right. Read the picture. I’m barely literate. I actually like AI writing tools!

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Reminds me of a Simpson’s episode…
season 9 GIF

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He’s too late. There’s now three electric trucks on sale, and none of them carry a Tesla badge. Too slow is too slow. But hey, keep dicking around with your social media site, numb nut.

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Yeah, the moment the F150 Lightning debuted, this thing was doa. Well, I guess it’s still nowhere near “arriving” yet. Bestselling vehicle of all time vs beta testing a douchebag’s Trapper Keeper graphic.

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Add Nissan to the list for this year. Chevy, Ram and Toyota should all have models available in 2024. Too little, too late for Tesla.

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The CyberTruck looks like it was designed by an ADHD twelve year old. Which, for all intents and purposes, it was. But whatever Lord Elon wants, Lord Elon gets, so this “truck” will come to market. I thought for a while that it was going to be vaporware, but I actually hope that it is produced, because the design is so flawed, it’s going to be another Musk disaster that he will pretend that he had nothing to do with, and his MuskBro cult members will believe him.

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