Mormon church uses bogus copyright claims in attempt to censor Mormonleaks

That has to be a downer. You get into Heaven only to find out you will be living next to Pinochet and Pol Pot, because a Mormon somewhere decided it would be a good idea to baptise them.

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Perhaps “chastity” has something to do with “purity balls” and other influences from Evangelical Christianity.

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That was my first thought as I was googling: the American religious version of Jack the Ripper.

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It’s just a person. First link should be Wiki. SFW

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“Heaven” according to doctrine is three-tiered, with the most righteous occupying the top level. Hitler would probably go to “Outer Darkness”, or Hell.

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thanks. WOW, I somehow didn’t expect it to be a guy’s NAME. i thought it as some sort of nickname, haha.

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Where’s Heaven in relation to Kolob?

No way they’d ever abduct me to Mormon Heaven, I’ve got a ticket for “Bob”'s pleasure saucers!

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It is my understanding, explained to me by a former Mormon, that when dead people are baptized, their soul in heaven has the opportunity to reject the baptism. Free will and all that. I do imagine that Anne Frank is either now a posthumous mormon, or she’s sick of this shit.

Of course, IF one is dead, and actually in Mormon heaven, then maybe getting promoted to a better heaven might be appealing. Kind of a big IF, though, and I’m not sure how it would work for single women, since they don’t get to the best heaven without riding some man’s coattails. At least this is my outsider understanding, laced with some snark. (And, I know I could be completely wrong about it…)

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Not unless you come back and open a case of whoop ass on 'em.

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I know. I was just saying the exact same thing to my close friend, Duncan Shitstain

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In Heaven

“Hey, the Mormons are baptizing you!”

http://imgur.com/0UkaYKJ

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Kolob is the planet closest to “Heavenly Father.”

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Well, he ain’t no man and he ain’t no god.
I wouldn’t want to walk the path Dobbs trod.

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Well, some kind of announcement would be better than finding yourself inexplicably drenched in water.

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I misread “Denver Snuffer” as “Denver Snuffler,” which was really baffling. Either way, I really couldn’t see that as a person’s name. Now that I’ve googled it, I still can’t quite believe it.
Interesting that “issues and ideas” leading people away from the church includes actual individuals.

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I can’t imagine grade school playgrounds were very friendly.

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The ordination of women is a far left policy? Now I know where some of the alternative facts are coming from.
Regarding the Mormon Church as an opiate of the masses that will be destroyed with the coming of socialism is a left wing policy. The ordination of women is a mildly progressive policy.

Oh, it’s worse than that. Thanks to my relatives in Utah if you get to the Mormon heaven, my entire family is going to be there.

Note that my second sentence is factually correct and note the “if”.

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It is almost the same, except you do it through the sheet with the hole in it.

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yeah it would be worth it to go to Hell/Outer Darkness in that case.

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Urban dictionary?

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