Mormon missionaries share awful pickup lines before homeowner opens door

[NickyG]

@TornPaperNapkin

Wait… is Mountain Dew supposed to be orange flavored? TIL.

That was verbatim going to be my response! hahaha! Great minds…

[tekk]

And if you’re curious about it, it’s because the prohibition was on “hot drinks” and at the time the most common hot drinks were tea and coffee (still are, I suppose,) both of which contain caffeine. Caffeine for some reason wouldn’t be known to the guy who was divinely inspired to write the text, and so it was up in the air about whether God hated when your drinks aren’t chilled or if God hated the drug that happened to be in those drinks.

@agles what I want to know is what the dining halls at BYU looked like. The idea of a dining hall without soda fountains is weird, did they just stock a bunch of caffeine free ones?

[RickMycroft]

Did they ever rule on “Mormon Tea”?

7 Proven Benefits of Mormon Tea | Organic Facts

[gracchus]

@Magdalene

Being in an unfamiliar place and immersed in a strict schedule of religious study with no distractions can have a profound and long lasting psychological effect.

You can send a teenaged boy halfway around the world and make him study 8 hours a day and, in the vast majority of cases, he’s still going to continually think about sex, drinking, drugs and other adolescent nonsense, and talk about it if he’s paired up with another teenaged boy. Which is fine for the operations side of the racket (soldiers of the faith and suicide bombers or, on the more peaceful end, cloistered scholars and monks) but makes little sense for staffing the direct-marketing department.

@Bernel

At least these ones seemed like regular people goofing around, not brainwashed fanatics. I think that may count as positive propaganda in some ways.

She didn’t answer the door, though. I suppose there are lonely or crazy people who would welcome a pair of goofy teenaged boys they don’t know into their homes after that, but I suspect that it’s a very small demographic that would be susceptible to that positive propaganda.

@RickMycroft

It’s certainly not the usual format for Flirty Fishing.

It’s a variant of the fine old tradition of more sex-positive fundies:

Sacred prostitution

[agies]

@tekk

And if you’re curious about it, it’s because the prohibition was on “hot drinks” and at the time the most common hot drinks were tea and coffee (still are, I suppose,) both of which contain caffeine. Caffeine for some reason wouldn’t be known to the guy who was divinely inspired to write the text, and so it was up in the air about whether God hated when your drinks aren’t chilled or if God hated the drug that happened to be in those drinks.

I love the lengths religious rules-lawyers will go to to get what they want.

I don’t love it when they use the same kind of logic to justify hatred and bigotry.

[RickMycroft]

@gracchus

Sacred prostitution

Give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
And that’s good enough for me

[anon76197405]

Yeah, it’s just locker room talk, what’s the harm?

@anon48584343

Awful pickup lines or social engineering?

Bigoted fascists happen to appeal to agencies staffed and run by bigoted fascists, more at eleven.

[glorpax]

i wonder if mormonism was the inspiration for Hubbard’s made-up religion, Scientology. Supposedly he started the religion as a bet with his then-roommate Jack Parsons of JPL fame

[TheGreatParis]

They’re just trying to prove they’re mormon than boy.

[glorpax]

aw that one was good

[Magdalene]

@gracchus

You can send a teenaged boy halfway around the world and make him study 8 hours a day and, in the vast majority of cases, he’s still going to continually think about sex, drinking, drugs and other adolescent nonsense, and talk about it if he’s paired up with another teenaged boy. Which is fine for the operations side of the racket (soldiers of the faith, suicide bombers or, on the more peaceful end, cloistered scholars and monks) but makes little sense for staffing the direct-marketing department.

With no internet access, television, or outside contact other than letters or email coupled with being raised in a belief system that requires abstinance from alcohol, masturbation, pornography and premarital sex, not only for membership, but in order to serve a mission, his or her thoughts on those subjects during their mandatory mission will not be what yours might have been.

But that wasn’t my point. The Mormon church has been changing their approach to missions and moving missionaries away from cold calls and more to service work and visiting inactive members or people who have already expressed intrest or referrals. They know that missions aren’t effective in gaining new members, any conversions are a bonus.

http://www.heraldextra.com/news/local/faith/lds-church-announces-changes-to-missionary-program/article_db190c65-0f58-5e91-8308-485feac98e25.html

It’s worth noting that they actually lowered the age of mandatory missions from 19 to 18. In light of decreased membership in youth, that is no accident. If your first experience away from home is one in which you only have your faith for comfort and focus, it will be a formative and faith building one.

[HMSGoose]

@gracchus

I suppose there are lonely or crazy people who would welcome a pair of goofy teenaged boys they don’t know into their homes after that, but I suspect that it’s a very small demographic that would be susceptible to that positive propaganda.

especially when the negative propoganda is so effective *shivers*

Funny Games (2007 film)

[leicester]

Hold on, I need to write a few of those down.

[Mister44]

@jeezers

Yeah, it’s just locker room talk, what’s the harm?

Stupid joke pickup lines are rather harmless. If you didn’t do stupid shit like that at their age, I question your human status.

There are a lot of things one can criticize the Mormons over - half of their theology is based on a lie (sorry any Mormons here). They have some messed up beliefs, especially when it comes to homosexuals.

This, however, isn’t really a Mormon thing, and while crude, is just joking around.

[gracchus]

@Magdalene

With no internet access, television, or outside contact other than letters or email coupled with being raised in a belief system that requires abstinance from alcohol, masturbation, pornography and premarital sex, not only for membership, but in order to serve a mission, his or her thoughts on those subjects during their mandatory mission will not be what yours might have been.

I can tell you’ve never been a teenaged boy. The Ross Douthats and other “young fogies” of the world are few and far between.

@Magdalene

The Mormon church has been changing their approach to missions and moving missionaries away from cold calls and more to service work and visiting inactive members or people who have already expressed intrest or referrals.

Those approaches make more sense, but they’re still sending out teenagers like the ones in the video for cold calls.

Any accomplished woo peddler understands that nubile young women, adults with the superficial trappings of authority, cute children, and lovable old people who give off an air of hard-won experience are the best direct-marketing representatives for whatever scam or garbage they’re selling. People giving testimonials of how the garbage changed their lives are also effective front-line reps, although they usually have to be over age 25 to have a convincing story.

The established experts know how to make the mark come to the proselytiser of his own volition. The true masters of the art (Judaism) actively discourage new converts, although that’s led to certain sub-sects engaging in obnoxious intramural solicitations:

Mitzvah tank

@glorpax

i wonder if mormonism was the inspiration for Hubbard’s made-up religion, Scientology. Supposedly he started the religion as a bet with his then-roommate Jack Parsons of JPL fame

The most credible story wasn’t that Elron started it as a bet,* but that at a party of fellow SF writers who were complaining about the paltry per-word rate paid by the pulps for their fantastic stories he was heard to say “if you want to make real money you have to start a religion.”

[* the version of that story I heard had him making the bet with Heinlein]

[glorpax]

now THAT would be something! it is also rumored that Hubbard took Parsons’ life savings in another scam

I could definitely see Heinlein being involved in some way shape or form

[anon62577920]

Maybe my goto method of opening the door in nothing but boxer briefs wasn’t a good strategy after all!

[anon61833566]

I concur…I don’t compare what they are saying to one another to the idea of “locker room” talk like @jeezers is suggesting.

Its adolescent stupidity to be sure, I don’t think it’s any more than that.

[Cunk]

The best line was obviously “Hey baby, are you the Sword if Laban? Because you are exceedingly fine.”

Sure, if you have to look up the reference it’s probably not going to be that effective but for the minority that immediately gets it it’s gonna kill.

[RickMycroft]

Hubbard was already familiar with Crowley’s OTO though Parsons, and well as Theosophy, etc.

The “Bar Bet” story is attributed to all sorts of people, Asimov, Heinlein, etc, but the best sources I have, via Judith Merril and Frederik Pohl, put it at a 1948 New Jersey SF convention, and the bet was with an editor.