Mother of three boys' funny review for Kleenex mulitpacks


#1

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#2

#3

Just waiting for someone to work “Just look at it.” into this thread.


#4

But don’t give them a box of tissue. Look the other way while they swipe it. The same goes for hand lotion.


#5

Other funny product reviews:

For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. “Use a knife!” they say. Well…my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives. “Shoot it with a gun!” Background check…HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I’ll call it South Side Story.

Banana slicer…thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon.

This is the greatest product. Perfect banana slices every time. Every morning I slice a banana - six slices onto my cereal and six slices onto my husband’s. It takes seconds. Just push the slicer over the banana and give it a quick squeeze. Another push, another squeeze and poof, that banana is history.

My husband likes bananas but hates watching me do this for some reason. He hasn’t slept in weeks. I thought it was because I was clumsy at first while I got the hang of it, but I’m real good at it now. Push - squeeze, push - squeeze. Real quick. He still hates it. Go figure.


#6

What are “Kleenex mulitpacks”? Are these packs of tissues that you can hide under the hair in the back of your head?


#7

Good viral, Kleenex!


#8

Kleenex: for that other kind of sneeze.


#9

Sorry, @maggiekb. I’m substituting my science reads with the complete works of James O. Thach


#10

Thank you for sending that link. God bless us, every one.


#11

Reminds me of a definition of ‘orgasm’ I heard some years ago:
‘Like sneezing, just down there.’


#12

Except that was narrated by Howie Mandel.


#13

Interesting. I actually had to use Wikipedia to find out who Howie Mandel is. (No, really.) Then I realized the only time I’ve seen him on TV was his cameo in The Big Bang Theory. Didn’t check it then, to get the joke it was sufficient to understand he was some sort of celebrity, you didn’t had to know why he is known. I think I thought he might be a golfer or something, don’t ask me why.
The interesting bit is that his quote worked it’s way into being used in non-english speaking continental Europe, crossing not only the big pond but the language barrier also.
Somebody should choose this as the thesis of their PhD!


#14

I used to watch him way back (like 30 years ago), I believe it was on a show called “Laff Trax” which was sort of like SNL or SCTV. There was a beer commercial in there, too.

Important not to confuse him with Howard Mandel nor with Harvey Mandel. (Because it’s easy to do that.)


#15

Howard Mandel is one of the two Mandels I knew so far (the other is an architect named Richard Mandel) because I’ve read some of his articles on jazz. (I had a jazz phase a couple of years ago.)
What puzzles me is that Harvey Mandel didn’t ring a bell, I must have heard at least some of his music. Anyway, thanks for the tip!


#16

Don’t forget Dave Mandel



#17

Here’s where I first heard him:


#18

Okay, it’s official. I’m starting collecting guys called Mandel…

Wasn’t Woltz the movie mogul who woke up with the severed horse head in The Godfather?

Anyway, thanks for the info guys!


#19

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