Originally published at: New study shows that Mafia accountants are really good at their jobs | Boing Boing
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I’ll bet the mafia also pays their accountants what they’re worth.
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Of course. Failure is literally not an option. The penalties are severe.
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I’m sure the Mafia leaders pay their accountants’ bills on time too. You don’t get to that position or last very long in it by being a fool.
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New study shows that Mafia accountants are really good at their jobs
As it turns out, Mafiosos tend to hire meticulous, careful, and detailed accounting firms to cook their books…
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I’d wager this applies to accountants for any number of large-scale criminal enterprises. The fact that their clients inexplicably continue to walk free is indicative of their skill (and in some cases, a complete failure of the justice system).
(Yes, I know the data was from Italy. But STILL.)
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As one of the orphans in his care tells Wallace in season 1 of The Wire, “Count be wrong they f*ck you up.”
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How does one get one of these jobs as an accountant? Asking for a friend.
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“You don’t want a criminal accountant, you want a criminal accountant.”
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Or maybe not so much chaotic anything. Though maybe the businesses are so good at covering drama elsewhere it never hits the books?
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This just reminded me of the film The Accountant and the scene where he advises the elderly farming couple. It always pays to have a - ahem - competent accountant.
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Before he retired, I called my previous one my Demon Accountant. That guy worked some arcane wonders every April.
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… except that whoever is doing the books for the Orange Disaster is not that great, as evidenced by the numerous bankruptcies and other lawsuits.
(I mean seriously- how do you let a casino go bankrupt?!?!)
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Billionaires and their millionaire minions use the same type of accountants. The evidence is damning.
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I’d say that Weisselberg, Biff’s family-retainer accountant, actually did a good job papering over his boss’s shady and incompetent and grifting business dealings over the years, at least to the point where the rubes still regarded him as some self-made billionaire tycoon genius. He’s one of the few employees of that criminal organisation that von Clownstick hasn’t stiffed or betrayed or otherwise screwed over.
That may change now that the feds are putting real heat on Weisselberg. Unlike the Italian Mafia dons, Biff is so stupid that he’ll finally throw the man who knows all the financial secrets under the bus in a fit of pique like all the rest
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… ok, I’ll grant that one.
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The Mafia is also one of the only companies that pays its accountants really well for their workload. Most companies treat accounting departments like a unloved stepchild. Major accounting firms treat accountants as fungible billing machines to use and burn out at will.
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Al Capone was a case study in why the mob has a strong motive to make sure those financial statements and tax documents are beyond reproach.
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So perfect books are an indicator of illicit activity. That’s a new one.
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It’s not so new. Life is messy in big corporate finance, mistakes are expected, and if something is too perfect it draws the attention of the authorities. I wouldn’t be surprised if these Mafia accountants deliberately introduce trivial errors into the books for that reason.
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Everything I need to know about mafia accountants I learned from the film Oscar:
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