Nice woodchipper stolen, replaced with cheaper model

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/08/06/nice-woodchipper-stolen-repla.html

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Someone needed a quality machine for the job at hand (at foot?)

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That was my first thought, too.

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My first thought was:

“This is not my beautiful woodchipper!”

“Same as it ever was.”

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com-add-text

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Evil lurks everywhere.

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com-add-text

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This is the power tool equivalent of a cuckoo’s egg. This reminds me of the Steven Wright bit about waking up to find out that everything in his apartment had been replaced with an exact duplicate. In this case, replaced with a marginal substitute.

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Police say they don’t know who stole the nice one, but if you do, they’d like to hear from you.

Please, allow me to translate the cop speak: we ain’t doin’ shit about this, but, if you have the answer to this perplexing riddle, go ahead and give us a ring. We might do something then. Maybe.

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“Officials in West Pittston didn’t agree to the trade and want theirs back.”

Bravo, West Pittston officials.

I can understand the logic of stealing the town’s woodchipper (“theft is it’s own reward”), but I don’t understand the logic of leaving a huge clue in it’s place unless you foolishly think “ahh, nobody’s gonna notice.” I’m wondering if there was just a mix-up-- like a town employee borrowed it for the weekend on the family farm and somehow his uncle brought the wrong one back.

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Maybe find him over at the Pancakes Haus, ya?

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First thing I said was “Is that your friend in the wood chipper?”

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West Pittston Police have released a statement:

We’re very concerned with getting to the root of this crime. The thief is not off the hook just because he or she transplanted another in its place. Our detectives have mulched over the scene, but it looks like the perpetrator(s) didn’t leaf many other clues. As such, city officials have decided to chip in a reward for information leading to the recovery of the equipment.

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Setting someone else up?

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