Nigerian astronaut lost in space needs $3m to get home

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2016/02/12/nigerian-astronaut-lost-in-spa.html

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It’s nice to see that they are reinvesting in improving their business model. Pulling a Jason X is profound.

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That was the one on the moon, right?

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A much more interesting news would be “Nigerian astronaut found in space”.

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I kind of love this. I love it in the same way I love Borges stories which are reviews of books that don’t exist.

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I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars.

Oh, you know how it goes – they tell you one thing initially, but then there are associated ancilliary fees, the project falls behind schedule, the Soyuz capsule falls off the forklift (see attached photo documentation), and before you know it the $3,000,000 fee has ballooned to $20,000,000.

This stuff writes itself.

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I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde.

The implication of nepotism in the Nigerian space programme is a nice touch of verisimilitude.

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What’s amazing is that apparently this scam has been out there for at least TWELVE YEARS - The Register has a copy of the same email from 2004. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/04/16/cosmic_419er/

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Holly: You left £17.50 in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest, you now own 98% of all the world’s wealth.

Nigerian scammers are now using Red Dwarf plots as the basis of their shenanigans. Because someone, somewhere, falls for them. SMDH.

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I think this would make a good TV series. Each week a different Nigerian relative needs financial help getting out of preposterous predicaments.

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God damn, space is one cold motherfucker.

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I want in!

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I had a copy of this faxed to me sometime between 1992 and 1994 when I was working for a company in L.A.

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Salyut 8 would have been DOS-7 (Mir) or OPS-4 (Never flew, but it had friggin space cannons!)

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Guessing this will be shoehorned into Cory’s next novel.

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I thought that was a machinegun.

As for the idea of Nigerians needing money as a tv show. I’ve seen a writing prompt like that. ‘You are nigerian royalty and held captive with only a computer as your link to the outside world and are told that if you do not cough up several million dollars you will die’

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Well what do you expect - the poor fellow has been stuck there since the fall of the Soviet Union.

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If he’s been stuck there14 years from 1989 0r 1990, than this must have been written in 2004!
Good Lord, is he STILL up there?

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