Nine-year-old hitches a ride on Delta from Minneapolis to Vegas

[Permalink]

Gotta love kids, because they aren’t slaves to the social-convention-driven doublethink that blinds adults to the farcically large plot holes in the TSA’s security theater.

I’d imagine that there are few 9-year-olds who haven’t asked themselves “if they’re so serious about keeping my pocketknife off the plane, why aren’t they checking inside my ass?”

4 Likes

‘That kid is going places’, funny. He’s going to juvie.

1 Like

that’s seriously the coolest kid i’ve ever heard of.

2 Likes

Dear TSA

You’re Fired.

No Love,
The people paying zillions to have you harrass and annoy us, apparently to little detrimental effect on terrorism.

5 Likes

I guess we finally have an answer to “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?”

9 Likes

Technically, that kid has gone places.

6 Likes

Wiggum to TSA:

“That’s nice work, boys!”

5 Likes

If only the kid had flown United, he probably would have gotten away with it.

2 Likes

Unless he simultaneously forged checks worth hundreds of thousands of dollars and lived off the proceeds for 5 years, this kid ain’t gonna get a movie made out of it.

3 Likes

There’s apparently an unnamed relative of mine that, in the 80’s scammed his way onto a plane heading for Australia by walking out on the tarmac and telling the stewardesses that he forgot his jacket. He’d hide out in the unlocked lavatory and then go find a seat. He was a con man’s con man and was eventually busted in Australia trying to get out of paying cash for a cab ride - with a stolen surf board no less. I think he may have been single-handedly responsible for many changes to airline security back then.

1 Like

He went to Vegas first. worth it

8 Likes

and he would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn’t been for those damn meddling adults!

6 Likes

I take it you’ve never heard of Keron Thomas or (slightly older, but still) Darius McCollum?

1 Like

i can’t dispute the badassery there, but those dudes were already teenagers. this kid is 9! i know kids that age, and they’re way too stupid to get to vegas.

3 Likes

It would be great to talk to this little wild man and hear his stories! It would also be great for him to hold classes trying to teach TSA how to outsmart a 9 year old boy with a plan…This could be a real wake up call for those morons at TSA because the next 9 year old could be some kid that has been duped into wearing a bomb.

ps… I’d like to give him credit cause he outsmarted a bunch of adults but kids have been at that forever… now if he outsmarted a 12 year old…

2 Likes

If they stay true to form, the TSA will just confiscate all 9 year olds at security checkpoints. You’ll have to deposit them in a garbage can to avoid detainment, leaving the airport with your 9 year old isn’t even an option.

8 or 10 year olds are okay if they’re in a transparent 1 quart ziplock bag.

14 Likes

A high viz shirt, ear muffs and clear eye protection glasses will get you into many supposedly secure places.

1 Like

Reminds me of the time 2 young lads (10 and 13) from Dublin made it all the way to JFK in 1985. There’s a great radio documentary on the RTÉ website about the whole thing.

No-one with their sleeves rolled up who walks purposefully with a
piece of paper held conspicuously in their hand is ever challenged.

-Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

3 Likes