No Action Figures Please


#1

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#2

Good god, that’s a great impression of G-Man.

Did you read that, Rob?


#3

Somebody got 5S’d.

In my last job we were allowed (strictly) only two personal items on our desk and had a photo of what our desk was meant to look like pinned to the partition walls.


#4

This from a magazine that included a long-running feature called “Most dangerous object in the office,” including such gems as “Giant Unicycle” and “Pocket Artillery Miniature Cannon.”


#5

How about a few Custom Action Figures of my family hung on the walls?


#6

Wow, time to find a new job, eh?


#7

You mean, for whoever wrote that memo?


#8

Here at FunCo®, we have strive to have a Fun™ and Engaging© work place. However, as Fun™ is a scarce and finite resource, Fun™ use at work must be limited. Any unauthorized use of Fun™ while at work, or derived from workplace activities or as a result of work resources should stop immediately and be reported to the Fun™ Control Officer in your work area.
In this economy, we cannot afford to allow Fun™ leakages and waste. The board and management of FunCo® thank you for you compliance in this matter.


#9

Sometimes, someone has to play the role of the dick and tell office-workers to clean up after themselves. But that someone doesn’t have to be a dick about it.

Their new office looks like an awful place to work, full of sound-reflecting surfaces and open areas so everyone can hear everything. I’d be horrified as an employee, knowing my next raise went instead to constructing a palace of cold, sterile drudgery. Kinda like a lot of their publication these days.

ETA: My favorite part about the whole letter was him pretty much saying “'we know there’s not going to be adequate lighting, but don’t bring your own lights. We’ll get to it.”


#10

Nah, the memo is a symptom of the culture. Talking about the people working there.


#11

Such a pretty house, such a pretty garden.


#12

And how many pieces of flair were you required to wear?


#13

God, what’s the point of Privilege if you can’t tell your employers to stuff it when a memo like this goes around?


#14


#15

He does realize that asking people who are involved in the tech world are also quiet often huge nerds, right? It’s not a bad thing mind you, being a nerd, but asking someone who covets action figures to not display them in a place they spend most of their waking hours is like asking them to rip their dick/tits off.


#16

“In other news, Conde Nast Publications today announced the renaming of their flagship tech media property from WIRED to StickUpAss.”


#17

Somebody decided to get rid of their best, most creative employees. Somebody desires a corporate-friendly tech “news” - non-innovative, non-threatening, non-controversial, boring pablum of well-paid-for, pre-cooked press releases.

Which will work for couple months to few years, until the attrition of the workhorse authors and brand-perception inertia of the readers do their combined jobs and Wired turns into yet another managered-out empty husk, yet another has-been.

WIRED is no longer a pirate ship. It’s the home of world-changing journalism. It’s the West Coast home of Condé Nast.

When you read this, you know they are a goner.


#18

I think the memo’s author made a huge mistake by lumping the topic of securing confidential information in with dressing down the staff for such things as coffee stains on counters and action figures on desks.


#19

“And, yes, I’m going to say it, action figures.”

PLEASE, let that become a new meme!


#20

That’s genius. On April 1 every employee needs to put a Dadich action figure on their otherwise immaculate desk.