Originally published at: No one wants to read the Tucker Carlson story | Boing Boing
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My understanding is that such biographies are often a way of money laundering donations. “Do us a favour, and we’ll make sure that after your retirement your autobiography nets you $xx in royalties. If it doesn’t sell, we’ll get one of our affiliated organizations to buy a bunch of them to make up the difference.”
If that’s close-enough-to-true, and this guy’s biography isn’t selling, it means he no longer has the backing of orgs that push this scheme. The dull sales figures don’t just mean the book us useless - many bestselling biographies are useless. It means he’s lacking friends with power.
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Weird. Dreams From My Trust Fund sounded like a real winner.
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I’ll happily read it if I get input on the last few chapters.
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It’s gratifying to see how quickly and completely even the biggest talking heads on Fox News drift into obscurity once the network decides it’s done with them. Like how most people have all but forgotten that Bill O’Reilly exists.
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Un-fun tucker fact: trump will be hiding from the upcoming republican debate (wherein we already know what each of them will say) by sitting in front of tucker-carlson at the same time the debate is happening and spitting the same old i’m-the-victim plus racist dog whistles at a simpering nodding tucky despite tucker-carlson supposedly detesting trump. Somesort of boring ironic-hell punishment scenario.
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You mean the publisher of “Levi’s Unbuttoned: the Woke Mob Took My Job,” the “Naked Men Novels” series, “The End of All Things” series and the “Post Apocalyptic Survival” series couldn’t move the needle with this pile of dog poop? You’d think they would have enough experience shoveling crap to make it work.
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Well, you spent 20 years shortwiring all the rubes’ brains for nothing but outrage and long-term memory was the sacrificial mental function. You may as well be dead if you’re not on the teevee.
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Yeah they are happy to astroturf dumb racist songs and movies why not Carlson?
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Tucker, Tucker, You’re supposed to buy like 25,000 copies and put them in a warehouse so you make the NYT best sellers list.
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Maybe his fans would appreciate a coloring book instead?
It could sell with crayons included. Red for the hat, and white only for the skin.
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See also Glenn Beck. Murdoch is a fickle patron.
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“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Tucker Carlson.”
“Tucker Carlson, who?”
“Entertainment is a cruel business.”
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As the English conservative Chris Patton put it “the thing about Rupert is he’s only there when you don’t need him”.
While he does have an agenda (right wing monopolist etc.) he backs winners. So he dumped the English conservatives like they were shit in his hands and buddied up with Blair. Who was winning the next election even without selling his soul to Rupe.
But Blair’s soul was so shopworn he found that easy.
ETA
Patton quote is from memory so it’s likely a bit wrong.
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Tony Blair’s soul is like one of those complimentary chocolate pralines you find on your pillow in aspirational cheap-ish hotels. Complimentary chocolate pralines you immediately chuck into the little dustbin (with the little pedal to lift the little lid on it) in the bathroom. Because they are from the “value” line of products sold in bulk by the Whizzo Chocolate Company. Shrouded in an appealing wrapper, but you have absolutely no desire to find out what exactly the creamy filling is made of, or what it tastes like.
Edit: spellcheck.
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This is what happens when you write a book targeted for your followers, yet your followers are functionally illiterate.
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I hope people remind him how well the Obama’s books have been doing, with both Michelle and Barack having the top selling US book for 2018 and 2020.
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I am happy to report that Bill O’Reilly has slipped so far out of my conscious memory that I can’t even remember what the “falafel” connection was anymore. (Don’t remind me, I think I prefer it this way.)
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