Chupacabra. It’s the only theory that makes sense.
Or just you know the regular everyday dead cow that nobody noticed till it had been awhile and it got dehydrated.
But insurance doesn’t pay for sick/natural causes so you need a good conspiracy.
Not just that but opportunistic scavengers eat the soft parts first (as distasteful as it is for us), which means genitals, tongue, eyes, anus usually. Which coincidentally is what is always mentioned gets “surgically removed” in cattle mutilation cases.
“Cut by something razor sharp”
but also: “we can’t show you the gruesome photos”
“Well, says No-bark, we got a Chupacabra with an automatic weapon. And that’s when they get real quiet, 'cause now they see the predicament we’re in.”
That would be chupavaca not chupacabra.
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