NY Times: "Add green peas to your guacamole." Entire Internet: "Fuck you."


#21

Mayonnaise?


#22

those are all defo Flavor Friends, but i tend to leave the garlic, onion, and jalapeno as side condiments. and if you are eating guacamole with chips salt is almost unnecessary due to the salt content of the chip itself.

oh, and i forgot, another clip. craigs crazy guac tacs.


#23

Peas guac? Who do I look like, MLK?


#24

good catch. 50% avocado, 50% marmite, and 50% sandwich spread or salad cream.

actually i like to puree pure wasabi, spinach, and seaweed, then tell people it is guacamole. when they complain i simply explain, “seaweed is the guac of the see, everyone knows that! want some spirolina green tea?”


#25

Fuck you, Whole Foods

Fuck you, food.com.

Fuck you, cooks.com.

etc.


#26

People tend to hate the different and unfamiliar. But trashing something without actually trying it is just dumb.


#27

“If you desire peas, prepare for war.”


#28


#29

Who invented this recipe? Donald Trump?


#30

Or you can substitute stinkbugs for cilantro. [depending on your tastebuds and the availability of stinkbugs.]


#31

Maureen Dowd came up with this during her Denver trip.


#32

Hey, even he has his limits when it comes to hurling disgusting insults at Mexican culture.


#33

So this got me to thinking…
What is it I like about avocadoes?

  • Almost buttery texture (at least Haas)
  • Mild yet assertive sweet, then vegetative, then bitter flavor
  • Amplifier of other flavors (chips, tortillas, tacos, etc.)

So what could you do to increase those qualities? Stick with me here.

I want an increase in mouthfeel, slightly more umami, and slightly more vegetative flavors.

Okay, this is gonna freak you out.

Two large avocadoes
I pureed shitake mushroom, very small
1 teaspoon rendered lard
1/2 teaspoon dashi
1/2 teaspoon kombu stock
Salt and lime to taste, plus lime zest

Mash till 25% chunky


#34

I dunno all that extra stuff sounds like it’s covering up something… cilantro? (which I love, so there, just not in my guac) garlic? scallions? toasted sunflower seeds? now they are just trolling us!

Avocado, lime or lemon and salt. All the rest stays on the side pls

We’ve lived here for 11 years in Marin and our avocado tree has never produced fruit. But after a nasty frost a couple years back then a big trim and two years of drought… suddenly there are thousands of baby avocados growing everywhere (most of which drop, looking like tiny purple eggplants, green on the inside).

Avocado: the Bacon of Vegetables! (yes, I know it’s a fruit =)


#35

…and honey!


#36

What. Am. I. Thinking!?

When you render the lard you add corn husks to the fat, and when it starts cooling you seal it in a ramekin in a plastic bag with hot masa. So the aromatics of the husk and masa are sucked up by the fat, and you let it cool very, very slowly!

That is the lard you add–so when you eat the guac you don’t taste the memories of steaming tamales at Christmas… But you smell it. In cooking, memory, romance, and je ne sais quoi is everything.


#37

I’m the only San Diegan I’ve ever met that doesn’t like guacamole or avocados in any form. And the box canyon I grew up in was walled with avocado orchards!

Peas are okay, though.


#38

[quote=“bcsizemo, post:2, topic:60888”]I hate avocado and like green peas…so I can only see this as a positive.
[/quote]

Except that it’s still mostly avocado, and that would (if you hated avocado) seem to detract from the peas. I can’t see this being a win no matter what. Even if you like both, the two things share nothing except a bit of color.


#39

Maybe english snap peas might be tasty w guac, but it sure sounds like blasphemy to me.
Now I want to try it! Help me I need a doctor. Or an exorcist.


#40

Have you tried low nitrogen, high P and K fertilizers before blooming season?

Come on over to the gardening thread, and bring your camera!! :slight_smile: