Eat more Kale: the movement, and the backlash


#1

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#2

Kale is pretty good. There’s a Dutch comfort-food dish, boerenkool stampot - basically, just shred up a bunch of kale and mix it in with (preferably unpeeled) potatos, onions, and carrots as you boil them, maybe 20-25 minutes. Put sausages on top to cook them. Pull out the sausages, chop them, mash the kale/potato/carrot. Mix. Splash with vinegar, pickled anything, and/or butter to taste.

Crazy cheap and easy to make, freezes well, and you can make it in bulk.


#3

Whatever. I was eating kale before it was cool, like back in 2001, when it was still just in a few gardens and you really had to look for it. Now everyone’s just hopping on the kale bandwagon. If you’re really a kale fan, you grow it yourself, you don’t buy it mass-produced and dumbed down. And you have to grow the heirloom varieties, not the mass market varieties. The seeds are more expensive, but they’re totally worth it. People who make kale chips annoy me, it’s just a way for people who don’t really appreciate kale to say they like it. Kale chips are nothing like kale. And fuck Swiss chard, that’s like kale for people who can’t handle the real thing. Don’t even talk to me about Swiss chard.


#4

I’m supposed to avoid it and its green cousins as I have a propensity toward oxalate kidney stones.


#5

My irony alarm seems to be going bananas here for some reason.

I hated kale when I was a kid and my parents - being organic gardeners in a big way - put it and chard in everyfuckingthing. Now I love it, we grow it in our yard. But not chard, I am only willing to concede so much ground, and chard can kiss my ass. Too many appalling ‘swiss chard relish’ sandwiches at school that looked like a handful of snot between two slices of whole wheat bread.


#6

Gotta try that! I make a variant of the Irish dish Colcannon by mixing buttery mashed potatoes with lightly steamed kale. Simple, and surprisingly addictive, even for children.


#7

Valid concern if you know you’re at risk.

One of the nice things about being on a farmshare was having veggies show up that I normally wouldn’t think to buy (along with starter recipes for us clueless folks).


#8

That just went on my shopping list for next week.


#9

Good in smoothies!


#10

Also, please boycott Chick-fil-A. Forever.

They’ve asserted trademark ownership on more than 30 three word phrases that fit the pattern: “Eat more (some kind of food).”

Chick-fil-A corporate bullying

Kale is good, Chick-fil-A is evil.


#11

I always feel like such a failure, because I can’t stand kale and sweet potatoes. I’ve tried and tried because everyone goes on about how healthy they are and all that jazz. But goddamnit. They both taste miserable to me no matter how I prepare them or consume them.

Screw you kale. Screw you sweet potatoes.

I’ll just be over here vengefully chomping on beets, because beets are goddamn delicious.


#12

And ham. Colcannon needs ham :smile:


#13

Baked sweet potatoes with lime juice on taste like Christmas pudding.
Edit: Beets? Beets?


#14

So, basically, what you’re saying is that you’re opposed to Big Kale™?


#15

It’s just so mainstream, you know?


#16

If non-Euclidean geometry is the sign of Cthulhu, then kale is the Vegetable Not To Be Described.


#17

It’s just so lamestream

FTFY.


#18

Not sure if I can help you with kale (it’s alright), but sweet potatoes? Man, they’re excellent. You like pumpkin pie, right? Bake them taters until they’re soft, cut 'em in half, scoop out the meat, and substitute them for canned pumpkin in your pie recipe (don’t have a recipe? Get a copy of the Joy of Cooking, theirs is awesome). Have it with whip cream and bacon for breakfast.

(Beets are great too. Don’t stop eating beets.)


#19

I see what you did there, and I like it… but in all seriousness, in the mid-80s my parents decided to move us out into the foothills to better await the Second Coming, and while we waited we put in a 1/2 acre garden full of stuff I would not willingly eat now. I remember a lot of kale… So when the Great Kale Awakening came upon us more recently, I had the most horrifying sense of deja vu.


#20

Last Halloween I opened the door and offered kids a choice: “Kale chips or seaweed?” I was hoping for a “trick” reaction, but every single child brightly said, “Seaweed please!” I only had one bag of each so I had to give them all snickers.