Trump solemnly recalls the 7-11 attacks

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With a strong man like Trump in the White House our nation will never again fear a terrorist attack like Plaid Pantry.

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At one point in 2008 a campaign-weary Barack Obama misspoke that he’d visited “fifty-seven states” instead of “fifty states and seven territories.” Eight years later this is still the biggest public speaking gaffe anyone seems to be able to attribute to him.

Trump can pretty much be guaranteed to say something more embarrassing* before he finishes breakfast tomorrow.

*Embarrassing to the NATION, that is. Trump appears to be personally immune from that affliction.

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Is it calculated? Is it bait? Is it affected? Is it…dare I say…genuine? Whatever it is, it’s bold. And folks are in the mood for bold.

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Taquitos. Taquitos everywhere. It was a god damn national tragedy.

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I remember seeing Building 7 fall, from the Copenhagen rack. I had just finished a slurpee. I remember it was a Mountain Dew Code Red. I remember it because it had just come out.

Fucking Mountain Dew Code Red.

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7-11 is when they give out free slurpees. Never forget.

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In a related story, Donald Trump has announced he is disavowing support from David Duke and the Circle K.

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Daisy Duke was not available for comment. And Donald Duck said something unrepeatable. Because we couldn’t understand him.

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Slurpees can melt the enamel off my teeth. I’m pretty sure they can melt steel beams.

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There are certain posts I see on Boing Boing, and I look at the names of the people posting them, and I cringe.

Trump is fucking terrifying. Mixing up a nine and a seven is not, even remotely, his most terrifying gaffe. Not even close.

He’s a racist, fascist (not even cryptofascist – he’s not trying to hide it) asshole who wants to turn our country into an isolationist ark. Even . . .

You know what? I can’t even. Put down that fucking french fry or whatever it is, and pay some goddamned grown-up attention. Everyone reading Boing Boing is already a true believer anyway, so I doubt it matters. We’re all chewing kale and pretending it’s delicious (it is not: it is not food). But whether we’re reading this thing because we agree with it (I did, once) or because we think it’s silly (I largely do, now), Trump sucks for all of us, and he may, very plausibly, be our very next president.

Jesus fuck, put down the frenchfry and the goddamned three D printer and do something about it. Fuck bananas. This guy is horrifying. I will join you without the slightest reservation if you have even a stupid plan to stop this maniac. Seriously.

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We have @cowicide, he’s taking care of things.

But in all seriousness, what are we supposed to do? I’m pretty sure most of us do what we can, and that includes ridiculing the Drumpf at every opportunity he gives us, plus sometimes without even a reason.

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7/11: That’s the day he saw 1000s of Muslims with slurpees dancing in the streets as the Twin Towers fell.

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That’s how I feel when I look at a post and I see my name on the list of commenters.

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I know the feeling. I always check the BBS first thing after waking up… And some mornings, before the HDD in my skull spools up, I register 9 or more notifications. And think to myself “oh fuck. What did I say this time?”

But it usually leads to an interesting day. Arguing with people to a stalemate, or usually I have to “give up ground” and just shut up, for my own sake.

I think that’s what separates me from Trump. I have the ability to shut up. Even if I use the skill rarely.

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A friend of mine phoned and told me that an airliner had deflected off the world trade center and crashed into the pentagon.

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There’s an idea… how hard would it be to overdub Donald Trump with a Donald Duck voice?

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