Obama is gay, Hillary will die in prison, and real-life hobbits discovered, in this week's tabloids


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/05/10/obama-is-gay-hillary-will-die.html


#2

That one is actually true. Radar Online did a FOIA request and got the redacted files from an FBI investigation into Scientology. It must have been Opposite Day at the Enquirer.

http://tonyortega.org/2017/05/10/nazanin-boniadi-fbi-testimony-cast-as-tom-cruises-girlfriend-by-scientology/


#3


#4

Of course they didn’t.

They battled dragons to reclaim fabled gemstones.

The rings they found in caverns.


#5

I don’t know about anyone else, but this feature gives me comfort, compared to all the events that are actually occurring at the present time.


#6

If it’s Gary Glitter, then they might actually be right for once.


#7

“he had thought about and considered gayness, but ultimately had decided that a same-sex relationship would be less challenging and demanding than developing one with the opposite sex.”

…said no gay man, ever. You want challenging, spend 30 seconds in the gay dating pool.


#8

I’ve long wished I had the patience to mock up an alternate-reality version of the Enquirer/Globe: Trump Sham Marriage!, Is Donald GAY??, Melania’s Secret Influence!, Hil worshipped by African Village as Savior!, Saintlike Camilla cures leper!, The Windsor Girls: BFFs!

Msg me if I’m missing one.


#9

[Obama] had thought about and considered gayness, but ultimately had decided that a same-sex relationship would be less challenging and demanding than developing one with the opposite sex."

Reminds me of my own troubled pubescence, when I fired up the Excel spreadsheet pro/con list and opted for the ease of heterosexuality.

Those were good times.


#10

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