So, people should definitely take their guns into MRIs to defend themselves against potential explosions now, right?
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USDA Issues Permit for Santa’s Reindeer to Enter the U.S.
https://www.aphis.usda.gov/aphis/newsroom/news/sa_by_date/sa-2023/santa-permit-issued
It was noted on the health certificate that one reindeer, Rudolph, has a minor physical anomaly. However, APHIS indicated that Rudolph’s red nose, while bright, was normal for him and not a concern.
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Yup. And NORAD tracks Santa to make sure he doesn’t get shot down like, say a Chinese spy balloon.
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They would most likely shoot him down over the Atlantic to avoid dropping all those presents and reindeer on a populated area. (Info we all learned in wonderful 2023!)
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The town of Bari might disagree with shooting him down over the spacecraft cemetery
https://www.cnn.com/travel/bari-italian-town-santa-claus-buried/index.html
The Italian town where Santa Claus is buried
Everyone knows that Santa will be doing the rounds at Christmas, squeezing down chimneys, knocking back glasses of whiskey, leaving presents under trees and ho-ho-ho-ing all the way back to the North Pole in his flying sled.
Or – and you’ll want to ask children to look away at this point – will he actually just be lying dead beneath a church named after him in a port in southern Italy?
The town of Bari, located on the heel of Italy’s boot, has laid claim to this alternate Santa story for nearly 1,000 years after the bearded gift-giver’s remains were said to have been interred beneath a church that bears his name.
Santa here is Saint Nicholas, globally acknowledged as the man who inspired the Santa Claus legend. Nicholas, also known as Niklaus or Nicola, was a real-life Christian saint born, not in the frozen north, but in Myra, in what is today Turkey.
Saint Nick, it is believed, was born around 270 C.E., and died 67 years later. He was revered around the Mediterranean for his generosity, especially in Bari. This is perhaps why Baresi sailors stole his bones in 1087 and moved them to their town.
Today, three-quarters of what is claimed to be Saint Nicholas’ skeleton rests in peace beneath the Basilica of San Nicola, Bari’s largest church, where it is regularly visited by Christians of all denominations from all over the world.
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You are Francis Pharcellus Church, and I claim my £5!
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Now that’s dad to the bone.
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I’ve been caught with that before:
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My dad (88) would use Excel for something like this.
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I’m sure we’ll find a solution! It might involve lots of Canadian bacon or American bacon, though:
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