Optical illusion tights and swim shorts give you the junk of Michaelangelo's David


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/11/20/not-safe-for-yoga.html


#2

I did get to see the real David and it really is a great work. Though the Pietà is still my favorite of his. I blew up a not horrible pic of it I took while there. It’s in the exes house.

(not mine)


#3

give you the junk of Michaelangelo’s David

Um… why would anyone want to look like they’re sporting David’s junk?


#4

This seems counter intuitive for me.


#5

My thought exactly. I need a great big porn dick, or else I am not a man.


#6

Kicked off any given airline in 3…2…


#7

I always thought this was more of a boing-boing statue.


#8

Ah but he was emulating the Greek and Roman style, and back then cute little flaccid penises signified a kind, educated person. The erect large ones were for brutish, lustful oafs.


#9

It is one of the few he actually signed.


#10

Yeah, when I saw that I thought, “Maybe if they didn’t rescale it from statue height to human height.”

Do they make Jonah Falcon pants?


#11

I was thinking more of the alleged “penis envy” of which strong women are oft accused; like, that’s not even ‘envy worthy,’ yo.


#12

For when I’m feeling passive aggressive and it’s a not-tonight-dear night? Actually, I think it might be kind of funny! (In real life, I’m too modest to wear leggings unless I have a dress or long shirt on top. Also, in real life I’m too cheap to spend money on a gag like that, but it did make me giggle.)


#13

Fair point; I didn’t consider them as a potential deterrent
:wink:


#14

I just ordered a pair of the leggings! Maybe I should have gotten a pair for my wife too?
Yoga class conversation starter fer shure! “uh, what the hell is wrong with you?”

And is it just me, but I thought the David’s material was a warm white carrara marble? Not dirty concrete.


#15

*** Please check the Sizing tab for measurements as you may want to order a size up. ***


#16

Personally speaking… I’m not impressed.

:wink:


#17

Why is the first image in the post (on the BB site, not the BBS) censored? Nobody (that I know of) censors the statue, so why censor a fabric print of a photograph of the statue? It’s fucking absurd. I get that it’s maybe a NSFW preventative measure to keep people from getting fired or whatever, but, really: would they be fired for looking at David? Unbelievable.

Anyway, I’m holding out for a t-shirt that’ll give me Venus De Milo breasts.


#18

When I first clicked, I thought the pixelation was part of the optical illusion. Although, I guess if these were to be sold in Japan, the screenprinting would have to be pixelated.


#19

Dude, how did your ex manage to get their hands on an original Michelangelo??


#20

In western classical artwork the “ideal” male body had a smaller weenie since

  1. Enlarged sexual organs were associated with diminished intellectual capacity and animal lust (for example, Satyrs were often depicted with big ol’ schlongs)
  2. Let’s all face it, that whole region isn’t exactly the prettiest part of the human body