Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/10/20/organized-hawaiian-spam-thieve.html
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Please Hawaii, keep all the spam.
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My local Kroger has all the flavors. I haven’t tried any of them yet.
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Obviously, someone is trying to obtain a supply of SPAM so, at a strategic moment, they can short SPAM futures then crash the market. Or, in the event of an atomic attack on Hawaii, some nefarious secret group will be in a position to issue a SPAM-backed currency. “You need passage to the mainland? Just 1,000 SPAM-Marks, pal.”
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I am wondering how a black market in spam works. Do they even have dark alleys and trenchcoats for the psst… hey buddy… routine? Or is it like they put fake labels on it and sell it at flea markets? Off the back of trucks like the crappy speakers of days gone by? How?
Also, “Spam Bandits” is oddly catchy. Good band name.
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These Spam-burglars These Spam-burglars These Spam-burglars!
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Stealing SPAM? Well the world is always stranger than one would think.
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Seriously! How could Jason miss that golden opportunity?
I am disappoint.
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All this spam hatred must stop.
Is it healthy for you? Magic 8-Ball says: Not likely.
Do you want to eat it all the time. Not really
Is it delicious. Hell yeah.
Pan fry some spam until a nice little crust forms. gaaaahhhh. heaven.
Add a bit of cheese, a good cheddar perhaps, Oh lordy!
Keep your nasty, bitter, kale ya damn hipsters.
Oh and spam with chorizo flavor. sogoodyouhavenoidea.
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You trying to summon them by saying their name 3 times in a mirror?
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Real life spam is easier to get rid of apparently.
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I just hope they’re not time travelers returned from after a South North Korean EMP over the Pacific send spam prices soaring.
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*North Korean
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Oopsie.
Wait a sec. How do you know where the nuke came from? Are you a spam-buglering time-bandit?
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You sir/madame, clearly, have no taste. 
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I know nothing!
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'S pretty good with poi.
Not that poi is good, mind.
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