I don’t know about MDMA, but that’s kind of what I picture someone would look like after 40 shitty pizzas in a month. I’ve had friends in college that pretty much survived on that diet, and they did not look good after ~1 semester. Of course, it also could have been the Mountain Dew and Cheetos…
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To be fair…is it really about how they taste? Personally…the real test is a few hours later. Because the Papa Johns, Little Caesers, or Dominos…probably has me in the bathroom with one shaking leg.
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I think your college friends were holding out on you. I mean pizza is a healthier breakfast choice than cereal and does not make one grind their teeth like that!
Yeah, the pizza’s always been mediocre at best, and yeah, he’s an obliviously racist buffoon, but can we talk about how he still seems to by styling his hair by just dunking his head in the garlic-butter tub?
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Missing the Christ What An Asshole tag, for sure!
The truth (in this case) will be in the numbers; what is their revenue now vs. then, adjusted for [whatever]?
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What is he trying to say here? The pizza is not consistent from one day to the next (or from morning to afternoon), or it’s just not the same as the other times he’s had more than 40 pizzas in 30 days?
If someone destroys Papa John’s, how can we tell?
Mmm… gotta love that Kentucky style pizza. Undercooked doughy crust, toppings congealed into a greasy mess, served with garlic butterused anal lube and a pepperoncino on top. One of the few foods I wouldn’t even touch as a college student.
Probably coke.
I’d say weed as well, but there’s not enough weed in the world to make someone eat over 40 Papa John’s pizzas in a month.
He makes Morgan Spurlock look like the picture of health at the end of Super Size Me.
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I dunno. I had a room mate that (had he overheard you make this claim) would pack a bong and say “hold my beer and watch”.
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A racist jerk eats humble pie?
Tastes sweet to me.
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I doubt it’s economically viable to harvest used anal lube on the scale needed to make 40 pizzas in one month.
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Typical story of the modern day American conservative: It’s always someone else’s fault.
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He certainly looks like he’s backed up from 40 pizzas’ worth of cheese food product. Eat some oatmeal, dude, you’ll feel better after you move that blockage.
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Meanwhile on the other end of the spectrum…
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But did Ilitch eat 40 Little Caesar’s pizzas in 30 days?
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I’ve worked at little Cesar’s. The sauce can’t handle the baking Temps and bleaches out in the oven. That’s very recognizable. They also use an msg + nutritive yeast powder called “cheezy powder”. The ingredients are such low quality that a little seizures pizza doesn’t taste like anything until you put that powder on it.
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Disregarding the moral stance, Little Seizures is the worst pizza I’ve ever had.
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As Detroit collectively says "huh?"¹
OTOH, pizza and Wings just naturally go together.
¹I have it on good authority that in North Windsor, those other teams are merely there to fill time before hockey season starts again.
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All joking aside this was my first thought.
Reminds me of a buddy many years ago that ended up locking himself in his attic for 2 weeks. He had a mushroom farm up there so the space was more livable than the average unfinished attic. Eventually his employer noticed he had hadn’t been heard of in awhile and contacted his ex-wife. I wasn’t around for the extraction but I heard he was pretty feral when they finally coaxed him out of the attic. Surprisingly, rather than fire him, his employer paid for him to go to rehab. I’m not sure if that was their general policy or if it was because he was the sole maintainer of some old system written in Fortran or maybe Cobol (I forget now which it was).
Anyway, papa john has that same single focused feral drive.
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They’re admittedly something of a last-resort pizza for me, but also it’s hard to argue with getting an entire large pizza for 6 bucks.
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But as a $5 Cardboard/Food Hybrid Pizza substituent at least Little Caesars shouldn’t kill you.
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That is true.
Little Caesars: Not acutely poisonous.
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