Parody commercial for Trump's lawyer who paid porn star $130,000 for no reason

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/02/15/parody-commercial-for-trumps.html

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Traditionally, you get your little brother, the Attorney General to get the girl to shut up. Keeps it in the family, that way.

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It’s difficult to choose the most incompetent member of Il Douche’s entourage, but Cohen is up there with Stephen Miller.

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my thoughts and prayers go out to Stormy Daniels…as she struggles to handle the memories that she allowed Donald to bump uglies with her.

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Yknow, I wonder how many other porn stars are calling that lawyer right about now…?

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Tell me more about this legal theory where a payment made with the clear purpose of affecting a Federal election is not a campaign contribution.

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I’m looking forward to the grand opening of the Stormy Daniels Women’s Health Resource Center, financed by you-know-who. I hope she can eke millions out of this and put it to good use.

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A bad case of the 000.1 yard stare.

Bring her back on Jimmy!

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There seems to be some debate on whether he is actually Trump’s lawyer. He has a law degree, but has never really acted as Trump’s lawyer, he’s more like a fawning toady or corrupt business associate.

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He’s like a Mafia’s “I know a guy” guy.

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He’s no Roy Cohn, that’s for sure. McGahn seems to fill that “fixer” role for Il Douche.

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Hell, I’m not remotely a porn star and I’m even thinkin’ about picking up that phone!

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Loving the new autoplay embedded ad that forces my browser to scroll down to it on every Boing Boing page. Good stuff. I really came to the page to watch Chase Bank ads.

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Yeah, everyone’s talking about it. Guess it pays the bills and whatnot. :roll_eyes:

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via Imgflip Meme Generator

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Better yet, tell the Federal Elections Commission, that Cerberus-like watchdog of America’s democratic process.

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We had something like that in Canada, only not with pornstars.

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But Josh Marshall says in the TPM piece that Michael Cohen wants to be Trump’s trusted fixer. He has his own real estate mini-empire (which is how he came into Trump’s cirrcle) and is more than wealthy enough not to need reimbursing for the payoff to Stormy Daniels.

In the scale of money both Trump and Cohen operate at, covering the $130,000 payment himself seems entirely plausible as something Cohen would do as part of the larger relationship. He probably did get paid back some way or another. But I think it’s totally plausible he didn’t. He’d love to be that guy who made the problem go away. Doing Trump a solid like that would be something he’d happily do. It’s the basis of their relationship. He’d get paid back in other ways.

I’m sure he does, but it takes more than throwing money at a problem to be a fixer. A fixer needs competence, intelligence, media savvy, connections, and some type of charisma to make something like this go away, and from what I’ve seen Cohen doesn’t have any of those things.