I’m just going to go ahead and say that if your press release contains the phrase “tap water, where available” you’re already screwed.
Reason #141 I avoid flying.
A commercial airliner is a jail where the entrance and exit gates often, but not always, are in different cities.
Customers who asked for drinks were offered tap water where available.
Where do you suppose it was available? Rows 32-45?
Why isn’t this called kidnapping?
In the US, there are (recently enacted) rules about when it crosses the line from “routine delays you can’t get off the plane for” and… well, not kidnapping, but a serious problem for the airline. In most cases, you have to deplane everyone before three hours have elapsed on the tarmac.
Two hours is the point at which you legally have to break out the snacks and tap water in the US.
Good grief…It’s only 2 hours 'fer chrisakes. It’s not like they were stranded in the Andes and were forced to eat each other.
Have you ever been to Luton?
In fairness, one second longer than necessary in a cramped economy seat would have me thin on patience. I suspect airlines wouldn’t stretch the patience of passengers so much if they had enough leg room. I know that I’m going to have to board a plane at some point in the future despite my best efforts to avoid the experience and I dread it. Zero percent fear of flying and 100% hatred of the experience since the early aughts when air travel truly went to shit.
And once the lemon soaked paper napkins were finally loaded, they were quickly sent on their way…
Well there’s your problem right there. If you’re going to fly on a supervillian’s airline, at least make sure it’s a competent supervillian.
I would have guessed rows 1 through 8.
Monarch doesn’t have a first class. Just 214 economy seats (18 inch width, 28 inch seat pitch)
http://www.seatguru.com/airlines/Monarch_Airlines/Monarch_Airlines_Airbus_A321-200.php
It’s been awhile since I was stuck on a tarmac for quite that long. Back in the good old days when every flight I was on was delayed three hours and I never once made the flight I was meant to on my layover (after clearing security two full hours early for domestic), I was stuck on the tarmac for 3+ hours at least once every other round trip. I never got any snacks out of it.
“Law enforced when we feel like it. Or whenever we’re called on it. Whichever happens first, if ever.”
(If it’s not for work, I travel by train now.)
This.
Two hours is nothing… I’ve been in a holding pattern for landing for nearly that long, two hours is nothing.
“Passenger! would you like some food?”
“No! I refuse for legal reasons!”
Perhaps a better title:
Passengers on plane grounded at airport were refused food for “legal reasons”
Edit: Thanks for the correction. 
Those of us who are familiar with the concept of fasting snigger at 2hrs without food.
"In my day, we low crawled through the snow ten miles to get to school, and we were grateful! Up hill! Both ways!
Now you kids get off my lawn!"
