Pastor's wife attempts gun violence to settle argument

[Slant]

Praise the lord and pass the ammunition. That’s what mom always used to say.

[Papasan]

[anon48584343]

In today’s world a man striking a messianic Moses pose while waving an apocalyptic bible reference might, might just get some negative attention.

Add a gun to that scenario and you have an episode of COPS.

[copykate]

@Faffenreffer

The way I heard it, Toney’s first instinct was totally Ephesians 6:11, “Put on the whole armor of the Lord that ye may stand against the devil,” but then she remembered that her armor of the Lord was at the cleaner’s on account of Miss Caddie Jefferson horking on it during catechism, bible school, so she went with her second instinct which was from Luke, " Smite that bitch Haywood as she would smite you if you give her a possum’s butt of a chance," though it’s surely true that the Gospel of Luke is murderous long and her recall of the precise wording in that passage was a little fuzzy.

There ya go.

[Mister44]

COPS? They sent the Army after him.

[Faffenreffer]

Thanks!

My knowledge of primitive rituals is limited to the corrupted records available on the interwebz.

[jra]

Sending all my thoughts and prayers to the parking lot.

[alahmnat]

What an extremely Responsible Gun Owner.

[thirdraildesignlab]

I just want more information on that woman’s hairline?

[Lexicat]

Could easily stop the sentence after the word “hand.”

[Shuck]

The problem here is they actually needed a good god with a gun to stop her…

@LDoBe

How does having a gun make you safer when there’s already someone shooting at you?

If Hollywood and conservatives have taught me anything, it’s that having a gun makes you at least partially bulletproof. Most of this gun-fondler rhetoric wouldn’t make any sense if that wasn’t the case.

[Lexicat]

Am totes imagining that this is a DL poly-relationship gone wrong.

[redesigned]

either in a hand is enough for me

[exluddite]

“He did it, he missed the barn!”

[Melizmatic]

Probably not that…

[spejic]

@KathyPartdeux

Just like Jesus wanted.

Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. Luke 12:51

He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one. Luke 22:36

[KathyPartdeux]

Huh - Jesus was a mathlette?

[Bobo]

Stealing this for my black metal band name.

[sistadisco]

Right?? I’m absolutely not shaming, I just want to understand what’s happening here. Is she wearing a lace-front that hasn’t been glued down and then she pulled the hair back? Did she put on a flesh colored hairband to do her makeup and forgot to take it back off? I need answers!

[cboetticher]

I’ve been trying to figure that out, too. I Google image searched her and it looks like she wears that wig a lot, and usually features the forehead strap. I’m baffled.