Personalized cum and vag rags

Another day, another reason to ask if the straights are ok.



Am I the only one who still uses a sock? At least until I can’t get my shoe on over it.

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Excuse me, but if one doesn’t have a recent Volkswagen, why need a VAG rag?

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I figured about – oh – 10% of what’s on BB reminds me of a song. The percentage has now gone up:

“Your sperm’s in the gutter. Your love’s in the sink.” Jethro Tull from Thick as a Brick

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And some of them probably wash their towels with cold water and one of these:

(At our house towels get a boil wash and a soupçon of chlorine bleach.)

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This set is a bit limited. Perhaps it could be expanded to cover all the various secretions and excretions, fluid and otherwise. Pus towelette, anyone? Could I interest you in a bit of plaque scrapings? I see you have a trickle of bone marrow oozing out of that compound fracture, have I got the appropriately labeled square of absorbent material for you…

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Santorum Swiffer?



I guess even the classics need an update sometimes:

An elderly gentleman and his caregiver visit the old man’s primary care doctor.
“Today we’re going to need semen, urine, and stool samples,” says the doctor.
“What was that? What did they say?” asks the elderly gentleman.
“Just give ‘em your underwear disgusting hand towel, pops,” says the caregiver.

And the word skeet has a time and a place.

I remember one time they sold towels with “Butt” on one side and “Face” on the other. If you had to differentiate, maybe you should get a little cleaner before toweling off.

I figured I could market towels that said “Butthead” on one and “Hers” on the other.

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Around here it is called a Wanky Hanky.

My partner and I have had one for years.

“Mr. Crusty.”

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A doodle do?

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In white? Really?

Yeah, so you can bleach it.

A friend gave my husband and me a small towel that had, “For after sex” written on it. Works well enough for us.


for what it’s worth, shifty thrifting is still going strong (I’m an admin there) and the tragicrafting stuff does pop up in thrift stores. I remember we had some utterly tasteless 9/11 thing just the other day

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