Rude guest stories


Originally published at:


Had a guest who showed up and, for what I’ll admit are understandable if controversial reasons, ended up staying for years. He hogged the Internet, wouldn’t clean up after his cat, constantly left the bathroom a mess, allowed his guests to act like slobs, and then had the nerve to sue us when we presented him with a list of rules! – Anonymous, London (translated from Spanish)


Being a guy this is not something i know the answer to but my knee jerk reaction is. Who flushes menstrual pads? Looked it up and sure enough it seems like that’s the #1 thing that can wreck someone’s plumbing.


Fish and guests stink after 3 days.



“I’m leaving right now!”


But you just got here…


Being a woman I don’t know either, those things just scream “do not flush” and I think it literally advises you not to flush it on the package. There simply is no toilet or sewage system that can take pads without clogging.



We had a couch-surfer years ago who would talk on the phone loudly at late hours (plus he was calling Australia on our land line), but the worst part was that his feet smelled like rotting flesh, and it seeped into the end of the couch where he put his feet. Took weeks to get the smell out.


I’ve learned from experience that any guest who says they’ll “just crash on your couch for a few days and won’t be any trouble” is going to (a) be on your couch much longer than a few days and (b) will be a lot of trouble.

One of the worst was a notoriously stinky guy; after he finally left, other guests started itching and scratching. He’d given the couch crabs. We had to replace the stinky, infested couch.


Judging by the news, there’s a persistent fraction of society who takes warning labels as challenges.




Yeaaaaah… nah


Guess it could’ve been worse. Could’ve been bedbugs.


oof, We had a guest once who seemed really sweet at first, she’d kinda sleep most of the day. She wanted to hang out a lot at night, but we got used to it, she didn’t talk much and would just watch TV with us. Eventually she starting throwing fits, pissing on the rug, screaming in the middle of the night, knocking things over and eating all our stuff. She demands rides to ballet class and makes me take her to the Y when I should be at work. She seems to be chilling out a bit lately, and even tells pretty funny jokes. She’s now been here for over three years, but talks about going to school soon, hopefully that happens. Of course, just when we thought our lives were back under control, we got the idea in our heads that she might get lonely and invited another one…




That’s when you burn everything, salt the earth, and start all over somewhere else.


Morons? You shouldn’t even flush the “flushable” tampons. But then people flush all sorts of stupid-ass things down toilets. Municipalities have to publish warnings about this kind of (non) crap…

I once had a house guest drop a tampon down the sink, but that was an accident.


My housemate often just left them on the bathroom floor…


Can i pass on that? I’m going to pass…


Yeah… We don’t live together any more.