Damn you. I was looking for one like that.
Crap those are low standards. They should at least have some cardio in there. The standard should be something more like a basic military PT standard 2mile run in under 20 minutes at least 50 pushups and as many situps in 2 minutes. I mean superheroes should be better than an average GI but my list puts you about middlinā average for a soldier. The army uses a points system than is easily adapted so someone might suck at running but have awesome power in the upper-body.
If youāre going to be a super vigilante then you had best be at least as tough as some fatbody GI.
Sure superheros should be at least on par with the average soldier, but what about the average cosplayer? Because, Iām thinking this is the average āsuper heroā:
Worst. Cosplay. Ever.
āStringentā.
This is the most important thing I pulled out of that article: Rex Velvet!
The āread the restā wound up sounding like something from The Onion. I had to Wiki this to figure out if it was for real or not.
Iām still not sure.
So basically the requirement is to barely have more control over your body than a sack of potatoes? Seems reasonable.
B-zinga! 
So long Lackadaisical Lass, Kid Apathy and Lazy Bones, the Stupor Hound.
Holy physical jerks Pullup Man, how can we stop these villians?
We have the powet Pushup Boy! Drop and give me five!
ā¦and the city was safe once mote.
This is how supervillains are made. Purged heroes are probably building lairs and divvying up nemeses as we speak.
Iām pretty sure that Captain Hammer heartily approves of the notion that super-heroism is largely a function of brute strengthā¦
Less unanimity is observed among people familiar with problems that canāt be fixed by blunt trauma.
Think of the minions!
Iām presuming " lair" is also known as ābasement game roomā and ānemesesā are some kind of snack.
Rheteās somering wrong wirh yout keyboard.
Yeth theer is, I am the amazing androif keybrord msn, ready to strije feat into the hearts of sny text based villianary.
I think that the real headline should be āPhoenix Jones still taking himself and his āmovementā way more seriously than the evidence would warrant.ā
