Photo of a $98 stump and a artisanal firewood video go together


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This is a “doosh goose” and he approves of $98 stumps, and what not…


the thing is, they wouldn’t be displaying stumps and charging that much for them if people wouldn’t be willing to pay it. (and what does one DO with their freshly-purchased designer stump, anyway? use it as a pedestal or a rustic doorstop in their apartment in treeless manhattan?)


This sort of thing has been going on for some time.
I recall complaining, on this very blog, about finding, about twenty years ago in a chic Greenwich Village boutique, a bundle of three foot-long pieces of birch branche (diameter 1 1/5 in each), tied with a single red ribbon. Price: $20.

I guess some folks like to advertise the fact that they’re idiots.

/ Just now, I wonder how much extra they charged for gift-wrapping them.


I saw you coming…

Harry and Paul


You know that “This is That” is a satirical show on CBC right? They did the show on Soccer with no ball.


It doesn’t matter which one is real, because they’re both satire.


Maybe ‘This is That’ did this as a sketch, but I saw it with my own eyes. Honest.


Well, it’s not actually a stump, it’s a section from an old timber. Note the parallel sides, hewn flat with a broadaxe, and the nailmark on the top face.

I have more than a few of these, various lengths 8’ to 14’, and one 22’ with a scarf joint in the middle. Sure wish I could get $98 a foot for them!


It’s Log! Log!
It’s big. It’s heavy. It’s wood.
It’s Log! Log!
It’s better than bad; it’s good.


The rock, at least, has had something done to it. If you look in the background you can see the bamboo/wicker/whatever has been wrapped and woven in a particular fashion that isn’t apparent because the photo is of the bottom side. Not something I’d pay that much for, but who knows, maybe it’s a sufficiently well known artist that these things may have resale value down the line. Walk into any gallery that specializes in conceptual art and you’ll see weirder things going for much, much more.
I’ve seen a painting of a single, uniform shade of grey being sold for something like $20,000 or $30,000. The rock definitely required more time and skill to execute.
The art world is, of course, completely insane.

The log makes the art world look downright coherent.


The post says it’s a parody, so I’m guessing yeah.


Yeah I have lots of hewn beams too, having disassembled many an irreparable Amish/Mennonite barn.

I guess I’d do well if cut I them up into assorted hunks and hauled them into the presence of overmoneyed ninnies. I might attach artfully-designed kraft paper price tags with rustic sisal twine, too.

Jambeeno: artis-anal purveyor of agricultural relicry and curious knickknacks evoking the hay-strewn wistfulness of a bygone era and the cozy charm of dodgy vernacular architecture.

“His wares look especially lovely in the domineering white voids of modernist urban penthouses.” ~ Manhattanite Today

“Handling one of his rescued treenails tastefully preserved in a cracked Mason jar, you can almost smell the cow manure. No wait, there’s actually a bit of shit in the jar.” ~ Collector’s Weekly

“This seized rusted pully is unrecognizable as a pully, but the tag says that’s what it is, and I trust him. A wonderful addition to any shadowboxed bric-a-brac display.” ~ Uptown Interiors

Truly, I am blessed that my garbage and recyclables convey such authenticity and earthy truth.

See also: arty bollocks generator.


It doesn’t matter which one is real, because they’re both satire.

Which, by a process of elimination, means they’re both real.


You just bent Logic in on itself. Whooooooooooah.


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