This is a âdoosh gooseâ and he approves of $98 stumps, and what notâŚ
the thing is, they wouldnât be displaying stumps and charging that much for them if people wouldnât be willing to pay it. (and what does one DO with their freshly-purchased designer stump, anyway? use it as a pedestal or a rustic doorstop in their apartment in treeless manhattan?)
This sort of thing has been going on for some time.
I recall complaining, on this very blog, about finding, about twenty years ago in a chic Greenwich Village boutique, a bundle of three foot-long pieces of birch branche (diameter 1 1/5 in each), tied with a single red ribbon. Price: $20.
I guess some folks like to advertise the fact that theyâre idiots.
/ Just now, I wonder how much extra they charged for gift-wrapping them.
I saw you comingâŚ
You know that âThis is Thatâ is a satirical show on CBC right? They did the show on Soccer with no ball.
It doesnât matter which one is real, because theyâre both satire.
Maybe âThis is Thatâ did this as a sketch, but I saw it with my own eyes. Honest.
Well, itâs not actually a stump, itâs a section from an old timber. Note the parallel sides, hewn flat with a broadaxe, and the nailmark on the top face.
I have more than a few of these, various lengths 8â to 14â, and one 22â with a scarf joint in the middle. Sure wish I could get $98 a foot for them!
Itâs Log! Log!
Itâs big. Itâs heavy. Itâs wood.
Itâs Log! Log!
Itâs better than bad; itâs good.
The rock, at least, has had something done to it. If you look in the background you can see the bamboo/wicker/whatever has been wrapped and woven in a particular fashion that isnât apparent because the photo is of the bottom side. Not something Iâd pay that much for, but who knows, maybe itâs a sufficiently well known artist that these things may have resale value down the line. Walk into any gallery that specializes in conceptual art and youâll see weirder things going for much, much more.
Iâve seen a painting of a single, uniform shade of grey being sold for something like $20,000 or $30,000. The rock definitely required more time and skill to execute.
The art world is, of course, completely insane.
The log makes the art world look downright coherent.
The post says itâs a parody, so Iâm guessing yeah.
Yeah I have lots of hewn beams too, having disassembled many an irreparable Amish/Mennonite barn.
I guess Iâd do well if cut I them up into assorted hunks and hauled them into the presence of overmoneyed ninnies. I might attach artfully-designed kraft paper price tags with rustic sisal twine, too.
Jambeeno: artis-anal purveyor of agricultural relicry and curious knickknacks evoking the hay-strewn wistfulness of a bygone era and the cozy charm of dodgy vernacular architecture.
âHis wares look especially lovely in the domineering white voids of modernist urban penthouses.â ~ Manhattanite Today
âHandling one of his rescued treenails tastefully preserved in a cracked Mason jar, you can almost smell the cow manure. No wait, thereâs actually a bit of shit in the jar.â ~ Collectorâs Weekly
âThis seized rusted pully is unrecognizable as a pully, but the tag says thatâs what it is, and I trust him. A wonderful addition to any shadowboxed bric-a-brac display.â ~ Uptown Interiors
Truly, I am blessed that my garbage and recyclables convey such authenticity and earthy truth.
See also: arty bollocks generator.
It doesnât matter which one is real, because theyâre both satire.
Which, by a process of elimination, means theyâre both real.
You just bent Logic in on itself. Whooooooooooah.
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