Photo of Jesus at the toilet





“At one time,” said Freda, “a mist, like a cloud, appeared above my head while I was hoovering."

She was hoovering, it was hovering. What a wacky coincidence! Sort of like a face appearing in cement.


I am usually pretty good with these, but I am totally missing this one.




Apparently he likes popsicles.


Derp. She found John Lennon


Jesus? That’s not Jesus. Jesus does not haunt houses.

It’s Christopher Lee.


It looks like one of those thumb extenders for the new, bigger iPhones.


It appears to be a negative image. When I apply a negative transform it seems that he actually has a taste for Fudgsicles®.


Fools – anyone can see that it’s Alan Moore on karaoke night.

5-word scary stories (it's alive!)

could be Osama also.


“Hoovering” (Britspeak for using a vacuum cleaner) was frathouse slang for imbibing powdered narcotics through the nasal passages during the Reagan Years, when coke was cheap and plentiful due to the financing of illegal South American wars.

Dude, did you try the stuff the Hippie Chick brought? My jaw hurts!”
“Oh, yeah, man, I totally hoovered that up!”


the importance of punctuation:
Jesus, why the long face? vs. Jesus why the long face?

one slip and you have a golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s Hell Factory! watch out!


Imagine that.


Jesus wept.


In the house I grew up in, there was a scrape on the wall that the paint didn’t quite conceal. When I sat on the toilet, the lamp next to the medicine cabinet would put a slight shine around what looked like the profile of a long-haired man. To me, he was “the highlighted caveman”.
Even then, evolution won.


A Christian fundamentalist friend once pointed out a car emblem in the shape of a “Jesus fish” eating a “Darwin fish” to me and said, in a tone of weary frustration, “What part of no graven images do they not understand?”

Fetishization of pareidolia in God’s name might very well bring Jesus to tears; he was Jewish, after all.


The “end” is near (sorry, I couldn’t retain it)


While Ms. Murphy hoovered.