Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/07/14/attempted-robbery-thwarted-by.html
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Artist’s rendering of the suspect:
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Anyone with experience blistering the roof of their mouth with molten pizza cheese will appreciate this; I hope the shop owner scored a direct hit on the guy’s face.
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Machete needs a buff to its stats, if it is coming up second to pizza as a weapon.
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Don’t bring a machete to a pizza fight!
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Pizza is my kryptonite too, machete man. But instead of it making me run away I must consume it all until I am immobile.
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That’s a straight-up ninja move right there.
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I bet Machete Guy didn’t do much monologuing after he was thwarted by Stargate Pizza Man. Molten cheese is like kitchen napalm on the skin.
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What the news omitted is the machete man who didn’t see the Goa’uld wrapped into the pizza until too late.
(deeply missing all things SG, especially Atlantis)
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I slammed him with a hot Hawaiian - ham, cheese and lotsa pineapple.
That musta really hit him hard.
He just screamed, “Pineapple?” and ran for his car.
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Obligatory:
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0:20 … wait for it…
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He was Thor about it.
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Always carry a pair of samurai swords. That little gun isn’t menacing enough.
Pie fight in 2020. Rough times.
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“You wanna piece’a me?” yelled the robber at the partially deaf store-owner, unknowingly sealing his fate.
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Anytime I read “machete” in a story like this I wonder if they just mean a large knife. Because usually when they show pictures it turns out not to have been an actual machete.
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