How did we get this far into the thread without manwoman?
Source:
http://www.headbonesgallery.com/Pulled/ManWoman%20Pulled.htm
Planters Peanuts is killing off their cannibal capitalist mascot in the most capitalist way possible
3 Likes
Dressing like Eustace Tilley doesn’t change the fact that he was just an upstart legume who couldn’t cut it as a cashew. Even his own company won’t let his kind join the fancy mix.
3 Likes
Ursula Vernon refers to these sorts of mascot characters as Judas Whatevers, which I think fits the theme better.
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How do you do, fellow peanuts?
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My. Peanut I don’t particularly care about, but if I hrar through my sources any threats to my good friend, Goo-Goo Cashew, there’ll be hell to pay.
“It’s with heavy hearts that we confirm Mr. Peanut has passed away at 104 years old,” Samantha Hess, Planters Brand Manager at Kraft Heinz, said in a statement. “He will be remembered as the legume who always brought people together for nutty adventures and a good time. We encourage fans to tune in to Mr. Peanut’s funeral during the third quarter of the Super Bowl to celebrate his life.”
Do we suspect that Samantha Hess is being coerced here; or is there truly something unknowable, alien; and profoundly twisted behind the flesh-masks of advertising humanoids?
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