Originally published at: Please leave this new family alone. They are begging you. | Boing Boing
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Do not approach us. Do not welcome us. Nothing wrong with our family. We just wish to stay alone.
I must admit this also sounds like a family who thinks a lot like I do, and might even befriend at some (far distant) point.
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I wish the Diogenes Club really existed, because that is the sort of club I would join in an instant.
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It’s funnier, but less ethical, if it’s a real (unsuspecting) family.
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This is uncannily close to the tenets of the religion with which I was raised.
Only interact with other members of the religion, outside people are a bad influence.
Restrict technology usage, especially entertainment media and internet.
Basically, avoid any new information that could contrast and invalidate the teachings of the religion.
Luckily for old me, young me had an strong fascination with science books and facts. This hobby drove a mental wedge through the doctrine I was raised with, and I slid down the fire pole of reason, out of that burning building.
I never did get the hang of metaphors, though…
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Nah, you’re good, there 
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I’m 72. No one ever checks to see if I’m sick, dying or dead especially my relatives/in-laws
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Burt of Burt’s Bees used to say that a day when nobody arrived unannounced was a good day (or words to that effect).
I tend to agree.
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I hope that you are not dead.
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I’m checking, right now!
(You ok, nubby?) 
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So, um subtracting 12… in this fake family a 31 year old knocked up a 17 year old. Sounds like the kind of religion that doesn’t want to talk to anyone, I guess. They didn’t quite name the kid correctly for the junior bit, I also note.
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I’m glad it isn’t real because 29 minus 12 minus 9months doesn’t equal a good number.
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I posted the same thing at the same time but you forgot the 9 months of the pregnancy…
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Although they ask that you don’t call or text, you could inquire at 1-502-702-2867 whether Maris was impregnated at 16/17 by a man in his 30s, isn’t Davis jr.'s biological mother or is just lying about still being 29
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I didn’t add it in because 9 months, not being a whole year, may or may not change the conclusion depending on the exact birthdates of mother and child. Not that it matters much.
I’m sure they adopted
@Scientist, owe you a coke
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As 9months is 75% of a year it tips the balance of probability towards conception at 16.
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she’s the second wife, because the first wife liked having guests over for dinner just a little too often. which is to say, ever.
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That’s definitely SUS! Are they secret MAGA’s and don’t want to interact with anyone? I’d worry they are engaged in illicit activities. Sex trafficking, drugs, prostitution, etc.
