Didn’t you know that everything has a potential snark quotient, stoned or not?
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Are you trying to hit us with a hard truth?
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Why not be like the rest of us and not explain things to your watch? Why would it care?
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Didn’t it give me a stern lecture about getting so little sleep? 
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Anyone else planning to stay in their pajamas all day?
Although that’s my plan, isn’t it most likely that I’ll have to get dressed and go outdoors at some point?
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Didn’t you just stop me from ever buying a Pebble?
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Don’t they have nerdy looking ones? Isn’t the health tracker optional? Didn’t I tell it not to pester me about how many steps I take in a day? 
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Is your watching becoming self-aware? Is this the beginning of the end?
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Isn’t the end slightly overdue? 
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Isn’t that just what the watch is fooling you into believing? Mustn’t we fight the smartwatch overlords?
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Yeah, but what comes after the closing credits? No more humanity or a rag-tag bunch of heroes who get to rebuild civilization? Who gets to be the rag-tag bunch? Can it be us few, us proud, us happy mutants? Should we pick a leader now? Who would you vote for to take us into the promised land?
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Good thing I don’t have a pebble then, right?
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Didn’t I get dressed, feed the kids lunch and breakfast, install an air-conditioned, list the dishwasher, put the poopy underwear into the washer, and am now trying to get the baby to nap prior to grocery shopping - so, no?
Although isn’t lying here next to an open window listening to the (2 year old) babby and the birds simply wonderful?
Did anybody else just finish reading Auntie Mame?
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“Wolverines!”?
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But who gets to be Patrick Swayze and who gets to be Jennifer Grey? For that matter, who gets to be Harry Dean Stanton?
Can’t we pick something else, because weren’t they trying to rebuild a particular civilization, and shouldn’t we happy mutants maybe try and make it something new and different and better? Aren’t I a very bad nationalist?
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Does your pebble want to go for a walk? Or need the water bowl refilled?
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Have not the wise said “If thou canst not beat them, thou shalt join them”?
Have I been insufficiently supportive of my favorite candidate, Princess Pricklepants? 
Don’t they tell me it’s water resistant to three meters? 
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Didn’t I have to get dressed to go to the store this morning already, because somebody’s daughter needs her turn at a group project and the current holder of the work held it for ransom, saying she would only bring it over if she was paid with a generous helping of my Escalloped Pineapple1 dessert, and didn’t it turn out that our ‘day-old’ bread was actually a little too old (e.g. moldy) and couldn’t be used?
Who will help me eat the rest of the treat, since I’m not giving her more than about a quarter of the pan?
1 Isn’t that just a fancy name for pineapple bread pudding? And isn’t it much easier to make than the fancy name suggests?
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