talking about manchester capitalism…jfc!
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$1000 on a $40 taco? Shit. The church must feel pretty dumb for only asking for 10%.
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Perhaps, instead of demanding her tips back from the waiters, she should demand the donations back from the crackpot preachers who sold her this BS.
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Who wants to be raptured and miss all the fun of Christmas?
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Yeah, my initial reaction was, “that seems like an appropriate ‘proselytizing fee’,” but I also feel like the servers there dropped the ball. When she came back to reclaim her tip, they should have said, “Oh, normally you’d want to talk to your server about that - but weirdly, she came in for her shift as normal on the 8th and then disappeared in the middle of it, and no one has seen her since…”
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Depends. Some denominations are pre-Tribulation, and some are post. The kind of fundamentalist this woman seems to be, she is likely post. But, yeah, you don’t die in either case, you’re taken bodily up to heaven if you’re alive at the time of Rapture.
Man, this post is bringing up some memories of things I was told as a kid.
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What happen to the people in the two other chairs?
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And the fourth spirit to visit Scrooge that night was the Spirit of Christmas Rapture.
Scrooge: “And what of Tiny Tim?”
Spirit: “Who cares? They’ll all be dead, and God will know his own.”
…
Scrooge: “Fetch me the biggest goose, and … charge it to my account, net 30 days, heh.”
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Do I have to check just 1 box? Because I’m an atheist, heathen, sinning, scientist animal. And I’m nothing if not other.
Sorry deus, but I’d like an “all of the above” option
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i think the 15th commandment was: “thou shalt not question the form.”
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But you get to choose the form, right?
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Duh. In Heaven, every single day is Christmas Day!
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The forms must be obeyed!
Funny the way “144,000 from the 12 tribes of Israel” turned into millions of white people from the USA.
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Valhalla isn’t Viking Heaven- It’s Odin’s boot camp to train an army for Ragnarok. The nights are spent feasting, but every day is spent brutally fighting to the death. You get there by being among the deadliest, most bloodthirsty fighters, willing to spend eternity splitting skulls and being impaled or hacked apart over and over again.
Of course, that’s the nice thing about polytheism- If you don’t like that particular afterlife, there’s plenty others. Just within the Norse, Freya takes the half of battle casualties Odin doesn’t, and there’s also Hel (where most people go), keeping on as a ghost, or a couple other possibilities.
The whole idea that there’s either eternal reward or eternal suffering is a Christian concept, and that shit is as deeply embedded in western thought as racism or capitalism- Most people have zero concept of how deeply indoctrinated they are.
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In manners fine, I must convey,
A message kindly, I’ll relay.
With utmost grace, I bid thee well,
To journey forth, in words I tell.
Go frolic in a field of dreams,
Where gentle winds sway, by gentle streams.
May fortune find thee, as you roam,
In solitude, make your new home.
For in this realm, you’ll find your peace,
Far from my presence, may it increase.
So with a smile, I bid adieu,
To distant lands, where skies are blue.
Go forth and prosper, in your quest,
To find the joy that suits you best.
But kindly leave my space serene,
For I’ve no room for what you mean.
With warmth and cheer, I do implore,
To find your way, to distant shore.
And there, perhaps, you’ll find your wealth,
In solitude, go… and ____ thyself.
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