No. On the street I want to get to where I’m going, not be told what others opinion of me is. Why do I need to know that?
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Thinking on this, something else occurs to me. I do enjoy knowing someone is attracted to me. But I have the privilege of knowing it won’t have much if any effect on my autonomy. I don’t have to factor whether or not someone is attracted to me into whether they’re friend or foe and whether they might cause me problems, because either way, society defers to me as a SWM.
Which isn’t to say that everyone with that privilege enjoys knowing people are attracted to them, merely that privilege makes it less risky for those of us who do.
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Everyone is different of course. You do you! 
For me, it just sorts of annoys me when people assume that telling me they think I’m hot (when I’m not married to them, of course) means jack shit, like I should be grateful for the attention. It also annoys me when others tell me I should take it as a compliment when I just want to go about my day without having to navigate dudebros shouting “compliments” at me.
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Then there’s this underlying tenet of that assumption; that women “only exist to facilitate or compliment men, which is why physical appeal is so greatly stressed as being such an important part of our existence.”
Yeah… unfuck all that entitled, self-centered noise.
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Always. And of course likewise to everyone. Just also recognizing that the stakes of certain choices are lower for me than almost anyone else. For example, in 3D life I know women who like knowing strangers find them attractive, I know women who don’t, and I know women who don’t care what anyone thinks. But even for the former, their risk analysis is necessarily much more complicated than mine.
There have been points in my life when I didn’t care at all whether strangers found me attractive; even an individual’s feelings about it can change over time. And I don’t see my earlier outlook as any less valid than my current one. No one should assume anyone likes being found attractive, let alone told to their face, and anyone who does is a self-centered prick. [Realizing random pricks sounds like a hipster punk band.]
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This reminds me of a TV show I saw once, where they put people in a booth and strangers tried to guess their age! Found this description:
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I was blessed with pale hazel eyes that border on being completely green. Over the years, I’ve come to realize it’s the deciding factor on whether women tend to approach me or not before taking the opportunity to get to know me. Whenever the subject of the reason for my singleness comes up, the first things mentioned are my eyes. “But your eyes…”
Through my experience, I think I can empathize with countless women who feel like they are reduced to a nice ass, a set of breasts, or like me, nice eyes.
People may think you’re attractive, but it has very little to do with whether they give a damn about you.
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FTFY.
Human beings are first and foremost visual creatures, that’s a fact.
When we feel physical attraction to others, it’s usually initially based upon appearance; and for those of us who are not shallow, said attraction can and usually does increase based upon personality, commonality, etc.
That said, when we are first attracted to someone, it isn’t because we are seeking to satisfy their needs/wants, but because we think that they might be able to satisfy ours.
And that only becomes problematic if a person never progresses past that initial stage of self-indulgence; if they fail to see the “object of their attraction” as another fully developed human being, an individual with agency.
Sadly, too many folks fall into that category, and so it is highly problematic.
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Yes, I was just about to edit my post above. I was going to state that intense physical attraction for someone that manifests as a “crush” says so much more about the mindset of the person with the crush, rather than the person objectified.
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Absolutely.
That’s why whether or not someone else considers a person “attractive,” it’s still not a ‘compliment’ to the person themselves; because that feeling of attraction generally has nothing to do with the actual individual.
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This is the great thing about having a spouse- I might be pretty clueless and generally assume the worst, but my spouse makes a hobby out of keeping me informed when she thinks someone checked me out… Followed by a list of things she will do to the other woman. So it’s a win win- no weird interaction with a stranger, I still get a little slice of validation without indulging in delusional vanity, along with the assurance that my wife still considers me worth fighting for 
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I mean you do you and I’m glad that works for you. But I’d be creeped out by that kind of jealousy, not validated. Goes to the earlier point though, everyone’s different.
Also, just to clarify, learning when relative strangers find me attractive doesn’t make me feel validated. It’s just nice to have my efforts of presentation and surface personality appreciated.
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I concur.
I’ve had SO’s where we pointed out someone else checking one (or both) of us out for a laugh, but no talk of violence or any kind of retaliation. I dated a jealous, possessive man exactly once… and that was more than enough to last my whole entire life time.
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Oh, for sure. My wife and I rib each other when someone of either gender is flirting with us, along with mock encouragement if we find them attractive back. But I’ve been lucky never to be in a serious relationship with someone possessive.
I did once date a woman who I later found out was bothered by me joking about it. We stopped dating and became good friends, which we remain today, so it all worked out, though I do wish I’d known earlier she was discomfited by my openness about certain things.
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This happens every time two people come around a corner and see each other for the first time. The facial reactions, especially the eye movements, are instantaneous and uncontrollably candid. In any large city, you get feedback on your attractiveness ranking dozens of times a day. The fact that nothing is spoken aloud just gives your ego room to write it off as your own imagination and insecurity.
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I hoped maybe the smiley-wink would make it clear but I guess I wasn’t, this is all lighthearted with a chuckle.
And yeah, as far as validation goes, I mean of course this is all within a certain context. An after dinner mint can be a pleasant thing after a good meal (and can take on disproportionate importance if you were denied mints growing up), but it would obviously be wrong to mistake the after dinner mint for an actual nutritionally sustaining meal.
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I wasn’t trying to chastise. I think it’s great that you have a relationship that works for you. Different strokes. I’m just saying it would creep me out, chuckles or not.
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Okay, so where do ugly people come from? The assumption is, that the more attractive you are, the more sex you’re having, and the more ‘fit’ you are to reproduce. The converse of that assumption, is that ugly people aren’t able to find sex partners.
So…where do ugly people come from? Every ugly person can’t be a fresh mutation, so at least ONE of their parents was ugly and passed their ugly genes to their offspring. So, their ugly parent/s got laid, and more than once.
According to the prevailing wisdom, there are at least as many ugly people (less than 5’s) as there are attractive people (more than 5’s). Why so many? Unless…being ugly is only a detriment to casual sex, not reproductive sex (multiple at-bats). If you are harsh and claim that the world is OVERRUN with ugly people, then the assertion that ugly people are virgins gets really preposterous.
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I’ll see your American make-over show, and raise you by the Canadian version:
It had the exact same premise: Bring the victim…ummm…victim to be judged by random strangers, then they’re forced to run the gauntlet of hair dye/cut, wardrobe overhaul, stripper makeup, and always torturous ‘cosmetic’ dentistry by a zealous husband-and-wife dentist team. Then they’re displayed to friends and family. TAH-DAH!
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