Read the nondisclosure agreement you must sign if you want to have sex with Charlie Sheen


#1

[Read the post]


#2

Were I anywhere near him - I’d certainly ask he maintain non disclosure. There’s some things you just don’t want to see.

Does this cover his not bragging about his conquests or showing them on his reality teevee show?


#3

I’d like a lawyer’s opinion on the NDA. There are circumstances where “legal documents” restrictions are unenforceable, wonder what the breakdown for this document is. Genuinely interested to know, work your magic BoingBoing (:


#4

Wait - you mean the editors of BoingBoing don’t require an NDA from their many admirers? Talk about exposure!


#5

Manifest injustice would be a big one, but it’s hard to think of way that “don’t talk about our sex publicly” is manifestly unjust. Weirdly, and I never though I’d say this, I’m on Charlie Sheen’s side here. I don’t think it’s moral to tell the world at large about something where you have such a clear common-sense expectation of privacy. (This is strictly limited to sex, I don’t group consensual sex in the same category as sexual assault, rape, or a deliberate failure to disclose HIV status.)

Actually, the biggest argument is one of consideration. If the consideration here is sex with Sheen, that’s probably an illegal contract under prostitution statutes. You cannot trade an obligation for sex under the law in most states.You can, however, offer a dollar for silence. The contract is worded as consideration for association with sheen, but if you can demonstrate to a judge that this practically translates to exchange of sex for a promise, you could probably have the whole thing thrown out.


#6

I don’t have much of an opinion for or against Sheen and the use of an NDA. Even if one were to remove the fact that he has HIV, let’s say he’s clean… are all the clauses in his NDA enforceable? Some might be, some might not. I’m just fascinated by it to be honest.


#7

Is it okay if I disclose that, aside from not really caring about all other things Sheen, his writing style makes me positively swoon? This is from his statement:

“Locked in a vacuum of fear, I chose to allow their threats and skullduggery to vastly deplete future assets from my children, while my ‘secret’ sat entombed in their hives of folly.”

While he’s no Chris Kluwe anybody who uses the word “skullduggery” or the phrase “hives of folly” makes me flush.


#8

I think Trump may have found a running mate worthy of his particular brand of crazy.


#9

ARTICLE X: You will not utter the phrase “it’s smaller than I expected” or “I don’t get what all the fuss is about” in any circumstance during the performance of acts mentioned in ARTICLE 1. Using this verbiage will result in a fine of not less than $10,000 or a whipping with a cat-o-nine tails or a similar device on your bare hiney.


#10

I mean, I want it, but not that bad. Sorry Charlie, youz gettin none a dis.


#11

I got myself giggling imagining what it would be like to be Charlie Sheen’s lawyer. This must be the best job ever.

First off, it’s a gravy train, right? I mean, that’s pure gold.

Second of all, how entertaining would it be - except the part where he may have passed on a horrible disease - but just to learn about all the stuff he does.

It’s a gravy train + a train wreck is what I’m sayin’.


#12

No, I mean Fuck NO!, No today, No Tomorrow, and NO forever.


#13

Disgorgement of Monies

Getting right down to the dirty talk. Sexy, baby.


#14

You’d think that Charlie Sheen, and his lawyers would be very familiar with prostitution laws…

Ah well. If he wasn’t arrogant enough to have sex while seropositive, who am I to judge? The tabloids will cheerfully pay to invade Sheen’s expectation of privacy; why shouldn’t Sheen defend his interests with a NDA?


#15

I would call this a DNA NDA.


#16

Yeah, but do you think Sheen will really offer Trump the Vice Presidency?


#17

That will be the name of his first blues album - gravy train wreck.


#18

Sheen’s dad was a two term president, could be the newest political dynasty.


#19

Forget the lawyer. I want to know if the notary ever sticks around for a threesome.


#20

The legal battle I want to see: Chalie’s NDA versus colleges that require proof of affirmative consent to have sex with students.