Originally published at: Recently sunken Russian warship may have been carrying a piece of the cross that Jesus died on | Boing Boing
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Yeah, that’s a negative, Ghostrider.
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It didn’t make the Russians able to walk on water, or even kept that ship afloat. Since resurrection is also most unlikely, I think we can consider this to be a piece of the wrong cross.
Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.
Next!
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This is a good an opportunity as any to point out that way too many commentators are making connections between Putin and the end of the Soviet empire. As far as I can tell such commentators are keen to blame the whole war on evil Marxism. But for anyone willing to look a bit closer there’s plenty of God in there too – how Moscow is the third Rome etc.
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“I have seen many other fragments of the cross, in other churches. If all were genuine, our Lord’s torment could not have been on a couple of planks nailed together, but on an entire forest.”
– William of Baskerville in “The Name of the Rose” by Umberto Eco
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Hm. So I guess homeopathy in religion doesn’t work so well either. 
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Oh fuck, 2033 is going to be a fucking heinious year for evangelical bullshit isn’t it.
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Then why did it sink? Maybe Jesus is trying to tell them something.
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Is there anyone outside of Fox News who does that?
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Ohh, I’ve seen this one! This is where the “Z” on the crate mysteriously bursts into flame, charring it beyond recognition.
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Ok, let’s briefly presume that one could actually possess a piece of the actual cross that Jesus died on: how outrageously irresponsible would it be to knowingly send it into a war zone?!
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I believe there was a piece of wood on the ship. The “true cross”? No goddamn way. Virtually every Christian artifact that is found today is a hoax. The value in hoaxing them is way too high, the timescale too long, the written record too vague, the process too easy, and the marks too many for it not to happen. There was a big wave of hoaxing Christian artifacts in the 12th and 13th centuries, which is where the “shroud of Turin” came from, among many others that have since been debunked. The true cross in particular— if you add up all the chunks of wood that people make this claim for, it adds up to hundreds of crosses’ worth of wood. 
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Carrying a splinter of fraudulent wood into a doomed invasion during a pandemic? How very 13th century.
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It’s due to rise back up again later this weekend.
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Jesus wants his wood back.
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Do we have confirmation there actually was a cross to begin with?
Or even a Jesus?
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Rational (non-theologian) researchers do generally lean towards a consensus that Jesus was probably a real person, and most of what’s in the Bible is easily explained as local phenomena for the area (floods and storms and such). The Romans certainly did crucify people as well, so there’s no real reason to doubt that detail AFAIK.
However, since the earliest book of the Bible was written a hundred years or more after Jesus’ death, there’s no compelling reason to take any of it as more than story telling and parable from long dead villages. That’s also after you attempt to unwind all the mangling of the text for political ends that a long string of kings and dictators embarked upon. The Bible as written today is just words. Nice ones, in some cases.
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