Not sure if horrified or craving themâŚ
Good Lord! Choke!
No thanks, but the OreoTM stuffed cupcakes off to the side look like a nutritious way to start oneâs day.
This cannot be! These eldritch abominations violate all laws of decency, nay, sanity itself!
Iâm looking forward to the first Republican presidential candidate to go down on one of these.
Looking at that picture, perhaps they shouldnât
What is;
a corndog?
red velvet?
with my complete lack of knowledge of these amazing foodstuffs?
A hotdog dipped in cornflour based batter and fried, usually served on a stick. Quite quite delicious
Originally a type of chocolate cake made with the husks of the cocoa beans included, resulting in the cake having a deep red colour. Nowadays, chocolate cake with red food colouring added to make people think itâs more impressive.
Just to expand on that a little, thatâs cornflour as in ground corn/cornmeal/polenta, not the powdery white stuff with famously thixotropic properties known in the UK as cornflour (US- cornstarch).
Unfortunately, they arenât direct substitutes. 
Your pool of oobleck will fail as badly as your corndogs.
Now thatâs not something Iâve ever heard a corndog called before.
*shrug* Itâs almost as if people have different tastes in what food they like
I think the critical part here is âand friedâ - Iâd have been willing to forgive the lack of cornflour in the cake, but it defintely doesnât look deep fried. And that is unforgivamericanable.
A correction on the âcocoa beansâ issue. Just posting because so many people do have sensitivities to red food coloring. 
This io9 article helps explain that the traditional red color actually comes not from whole beans or dye, but from how cocoa powder used to be processed. Acidic ingredients included in the recipe (vinegar and buttermilk) would react with the anthocyanins in the cocoa powder and like a pH indicator, theyâd turn the cake red.
Nowadays, most cocoa powders are processed using the Dutch process, and it uses an alkalizing agent (a base). As a side effect, it stabilizes the cocoa powderâs color in the presence in acids. To make red velvet without dye, you just need to get a cocoa powder that doesnât use the Dutch process. A commenter at io9 suggested Ghiradelli, which uses the Broma process. Using it should let a person make red velvet without any dye.
Now if you took the corndog batter, and died it red with Sriracha, youâd really have something.
Now that sounds like a fantastic idea. Iâve got to try that. Strong username-to-content ratio in that post, too. 
And also use blutwurst instead of a hot dog.
You might note that nobody has answered this question. You gotta get out of the house and to the county fair.
Youâve heard about fried pickles, right?
My heart is âsetâ on the deep fried sticks of butter.
Deep fried mars bars just donât cut it any more.
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