The only thing that stops a bad guy with a sword is a good guy with a bigger sword?
In before “never bring a sword to a gun fight”?
Yakety Sax would work starting at 28 seconds, but bennyhillifier.com seems to ignore start times.
How about bringing a gun to a sword fight?
Keep Pittsburgh Medieval
This used to happen all the time, back in the fourteenth century, but not in Pittsburgh.
Interestingly, the script had them doing a proper sword-fight, but Harrison Ford wasn’t feeling well that day and decided to ad-lib.
“Sword guy” shot first.
“The punks in Gila Highlands weren’t afraid of the gun, so the Deliverator was forced to use it. But swords need no demonstrations.”
In this case, apparently the sword did need a demonstration, but it worked. (What I actually have for potential home defense is a fire extinguisher - I can shoot first and ask questions later, and as a backup, it’s a blunt instrument. Never needed it; the only home invaders I’ve had have been a few cats and some cops who were trying to arrest my neighbor’s kid, and they’d been yelling “police” enough times that I knew they were cops by the time I got downstairs.)
I’ve heard an apocryphal story about a fellow who was unloading his car at a fantasy con when a mugger approached him with a switchblade. In response, the fellow produced a battleaxe.
The guy who tried to grab the robber’s knife bare-handed is lucky that the robber was clearly not looking to actually hurt anyone.
The whole thing is super-awesome, though. Who brings a scimitar at work? This guy!
Edit: Also, as a judgment-free pedantic observation, the scimitar (when the clerk is showing it to the reporter) is chrome-shiny, which probably means it’s a cheap-ass, blunt piece of low-iron pot metal meant strictly for display. I have a couple of similar pieces myself. It got the job done, that’s the important part.
“They constructed a board with a nail in it, but they won’t stop there.
They’ll construct bigger boards with bigger nails, and then they’ll
construct a board with a nail in it so large, it will destroy them
Like an SCA ballad come to life: http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/susan/sf/filk/seeyrsix.htm
Probably true about the cheap-ass scimitar. However, it only has to hold an edge once to be spectacularly effective.
The arms race is bound to escalate…