I know, and I agree with both of you, and you both are the reason I believe that using that wording is harmful and intentionally deflecting blame from where it should be going. So thank you both for educating me in clear enough ways to see the damage it causes, since I was someone who would in the past use that phrasing as well.
When you say the exact same thing that someone else says and then NOT attribute it to them, you’re not supporting their statement, you are merely talking over them and taking credit for their ideas.
This is ESPECIALLy frustrating for women, who generally speaking have this happen to them IRL and online all the time.
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I’m just sayin’ that seems to happen WAY too often, even here on BB: a woman makes a valid point, and then some guy comes along and says the exact same thing, as if she hadn’t spoken… and all too often other men will respond to the latter in the same way.
It results in invalidation.
It’s usually a subconscious thing, a microaggression… but that doesn’t make it ‘okay,’ and anyone genuinely desiring to be a conscious, considerate ally would do better to be aware of that tendency, and to strive to avoid doing it.
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My apologies to both you and @mindysan33 then, I’m trying to be a better person and oftentimes fall short. I honestly know I got the idea from you but hadn’t seen your responses to the other person when I put mine in, so I didn’t know I was repeating what you were already pointing out until after it was posted. In the future I’m going to read the whole thread to completion and absolutely cite you both as my basis for this opinion.
It absolutely was subconscious, absolutely is a microaggression even if unintended, and I’ll be better and strive to not do it in the future. Sincerely, thank you both for showing me this. I was in the wrong.
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I would be so happy if everyone looked at prior comments before commenting. OK, it’s nearly impossible on WaPo where every article gets 1500+ comments, but it’s still do-able here.
Let’s all adopt it as a personal rule-of-thumb.
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