Women's Input, Comments and Rhetoric on the BBS

I predict this thread will go about as “well” as most posts on BB about anything that’s woman-related usually do.

What, too honest?


Now that this comment has become its’ own post, it makes little sense out of context, so here’s that missing frame of reference:

Many posts or topics that have anything to do with progress and equality when it comes to women in current society, pop culture, (or pretty much ANY medium, or subject) all too often seem to devolve into a veritable cacophony of snide denial, willful marginalization/denigration, and passive-aggressive disrespect that usually just stops short of violating the terms of service.

And frankly, many of us Mutants who identify as women are fucking OVER it.

We won’t stop pointing it out.

We won’t stop demanding the recognition and respect that we deserve.

We won’t stop speaking our truth, no matter how “uncomfortable” it may make some folks.


I predict this thread will go about as “well” as most posts on BB about anything that’s woman-related usually do.


not that i would pretend to speak for @Melizmatic in detail or in general, still i have a mental picture of previous threads filled with mansplaining, sealioning, ignoring women, insulting women, or telling women they don’t understand issues they may well be experts in. you’ve not noticed that tendency before?


i’m certainly aware of such problems, but haven’t encountered them here.

You’ve been on the BBS for a little over 2 years and you haven’t noticed? Maybe you read threads after a long enough lag that the most egregious examples get moderated, but enough gets through that’s just barely this side of the line that I find it hard to believe you haven’t noticed. Maybe your sensor needs calibration?


Yep… anything related to women pops up, the thread inevitable becomes a shit show… You can set your watch by that shit. And apparently that fact is upsetting to some… at least upsetting enough to flag a mention of that fact.



Many of us have HERE, so maybe you’ve just not taken note of it.


Then you might try paying attention.

Because women have been noting it as a problem for a while, yes, even here, but you have, just now, pulled the classic move of responding to a man backing up our observations, as opposed to listening to any of the women who have pointed it out.


Hopefully the mods see she has (I am assuming) more likes than flags and un-hide it.


Yep, it’s exhausting and depressing. There’s really no point in denying it.

On the topic of the toys themselves, I hope for a day when at the very least there isn’t such an attitude of “it’s a man’s world” that even toys for children have to kill dreams and erase women from the work they do. So I guess these are encouraging.



Perhaps had you phrased your request in the form of a question rather than a command, I might have been somewhat inclined to acquiesce.

But as it stands:

I’ve been busier than usual lately, which means sometimes it takes me a while to get back to the forum.

Thanks for replying in my stead; I know that you’d never deign to speak for me, but if anyone could accurately convey my personal immense sense of disenfranchisement in a calm & civil manner, it’s you.


i’ve actually been on here a lot longer, but i lost my original name. and yes, i’m probably blinded by male privilege and selective clicking on/engagement with comment threads.

honestly, bbs is the only “social media” that i still participate in because i’ve been so irritated and depressed by the toxicity that has been obvious to me elsewhere. it’s embarrassing to discover that i’m wrong about this, but i sincerely felt this was a much better place.

the original comment that i responded to was “hidden by the community” and mentioned sarcastically that things would go “well” because the thread was “woman-related.” i was not sure why it was hidden but wondered if it was a troll who was complaining about “woman-related” content and i was trying to understand if that’s where they were coming from or if it was the opposite. i concede that my comment with the statement “elaborate” was aggressive and i don’t feel entitled to a response, but it was not apparent to me whether the only person who eventually responded with insight was male or female so while i get your frustration, i don’t feel the implication that i’m ignoring female voices is fair.

i will certainly pay more attention in the future and i apologize to anyone who may feel that i was belittling or suggesting that misogyny was not a problem just because i haven’t recognized much of it here.


Me too with the important note that it is the only place in my life where there is any effort made… like my real life. So, honestly, I apologize if piling into it annoys the mods but it’s hard not to get defensive for me because this is something I desperately want to exist in my world in even one place. Not just online but… anywhere.


My profile isn’t hidden; my content history is readily available for anyone who cares enough to look.

Also, I’m much more like a goat.


Was this directed at the army man / woman topic? Was there something particularly problematic that happened in the topic?

I read up to and beyond the topic split point at about post #14 and I wasn’t seeing anything obvious?

I’d think more gender-friendly toys wouldn’t be a particularly contentious topic on BBS.

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You’re both a goat and a GOAT.


@Melizmatic was pointing out is that it is contentious, just as more gender-friendly movies and cartoons and games are. Someone objected to that. She was essentially saying (she can correct me if I’m wrong) that there was a high probability of some white male neckbeard showing up to either complain about this “ruining his childhood”, to deplore our current “PC culture”, or stroke his chin about the dangers of getting children to reject gender norms.

Some here may want to pretend that doesn’t happen on a regular basis, but it does – despite moderators, a community, and (props to you and your team) a system that discourages such tr0lls from hanging around. So there’s no harm in occasionally reminding them in a pre-emptive comment that we’re ready for them.


we have that in common.

if that’s directed at me (it might not be) i want to clarify that i was not objecting to anything. i realized that a comment had been hidden by ther community and the comment was @melizmatic stating that things that are “woman-related” would not go well. not sure why that comment was so unpopular, but wrongly suspecting that it might be somebody complaining that this community is “too sensitive” about gender issues or something, i made an aggressive comment challenging them to elaborate. i clearly misunderstood the context and regret my phrasing.

again, if i’m included in that reference, i want to make absolutely clear that i’m not in denial about the negativity and violence that women experience both on and off-line, now including here. i responded honestly to a question about whether i had not “noticed” the problem in this particular community, one which i had previously felt was a safer alternative to many “social networks” i’ve already dropped out of in protest and exasperation. the responses were eye-opening, but i think my concession that i had not noticed it before (or at least don’t remember noticing it) is being read by some as aggressive in itself.

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I don’t know who flagged her on-topic comment, but I see no motivation for someone throwing a flag other than it’s essentially …

… just because she pointed out that sexist and misogynist arseholes regularly show up in such topics here as I described above.

You came off that way about BoingBoing BBS in particular in your initial comment. Other regulars here, including privileged cis-het males like myself, have observed what she refers to on an on-going and very obvious basis. Perhaps you needed it brought to your attention in a more explicit way (as @Melizmatic was basically doing in her comment).