Russia's Sausage King murdered in sauna with crossbow

boing
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:hotdog::chipmunk::man_in_steamy_room:

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It was clearly Colonel Mustard who did it.

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In Russia of Putin, meat products kill you.
Oh no wait …

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And I was all ready to post this and everything.

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Crossbow seems like a good murder weapon. Has the silence of a movie silencer gun. And just looks like it means business.

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It’s down side is the bulkiness and getting through door ways.

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So, I guess you could you say, the sausage king got skewered?

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I came here to see Tyrion. Your line is sufficient.

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The Boltons, on the other hand…

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Abe Fromanov, surely.

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Everything is better on a stick.

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My knowledge is limited to a cursory review of the literature(which is a trifle thin because crossbow murder/suicide/attempted murder just doesn’t seem to happen that much, enough for a reasonable smattering of case reports but I couldn’t find a decent “survival odds for crossbow wound with hospital treatment” number) along with some history class “why did something as totally shit as the arquebus actually achieve relevance?”; but it is my understanding that tepid lethality is also a downside (unless you have…plans…for after the shot is fired, as @GulliverFoyle’s article suggests may have been the case).

A crossbow bolt isn’t messing around; but it’s very much on the high mass/low velocity/large projectile side; which means a lot less trauma outside the direct path of the projectile along with a tendency for the bolt to remain in the wound and provide partial hemostasis.

Plenty of places where it’ll kill you anyway; and letting some unwashed peasant punch through plate armor is weapon of class destruction material; but a lot closer to being stabbed at a distance than taking a hit from a contemporary low mass/high velocity/small(often fragmenting or tumbling) projectile is.

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Tyrion is one of three possible suspects that the gold cloaks are investigating:
image image image

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Yeah, I fail to see the humour in this horrific death.

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Murder and torture aside, this is a gloriously weird headline.

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Victims need to be more deserving of death, generally. Like this villian who took a bolt.

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The charbroiled Burger King will stop at nothing!

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This tract of the movie version was left on the cutting room floor.

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Spit-roasted, without the fire or fun.