Santa Claus wants a handgun in Colorado police tweet

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Shit!
Maybe there really is a war on Christmas!
And, Santa is prepping!

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I’m sure that’s just correlation not causation. I mean, what possible link could there be between being pretty loose with your carry permit regulation and gun death rates?

(he says as an owner of target guns and “old west” style guns, who does not, and would not carry concealed).

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At almost 93% behind quota? Certainly not.

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Jesus, I thought this was an Onion headline when I was scrolling past it on FB.

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You don’t become as powerful as Santa without making a few enemies.

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I’m sure it was the farthest thing from their minds, it’s not like Colorado was ever the site of any famous school shootings or anything…
/s

As a Coloradan who had to watch Columbine happening in real time during high school (on the news, luckily, not in person) and who also had a grocery store mass shooting happen a block away that I easily could have been involved in if not for pure luck, fuck these people. They’re the reason I’m moving away from this insane country the second I’m able and never looking back.

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If I was Santa, and I had to deliver presents in the US, I’d want to be strapped too.

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Santa’s handing in 20 tons of improperly secured guns from around cookie plates! Ten spot’s yours, Santa.

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Defendant, “I felt threatened.”
Prosecutor, “It was fucking Santa Claus! Didn’t you hear him, “Ho ho ho”?”

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Very hard to hear someone over repeated blasts from an AR-15 your honour. I questioned him after the noise died down but he wasn’t forthcoming.

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Defendant: “I thought it was that ‘rap music’ the kids keep talking about!”
Verdict - not guilty.

ETA: I can just imagine the character assassination they’d try to make Santa look like a guy with a questionable past, too…

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Just a reminder: no one has ever seen the real Santa Claus and lived to tell the tale.

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Are you saying that kid in school was lying?

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