Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/03/24/scientists-drug-hippos-are.html
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I highly recommend River Of Teeth by Sarah Gailey. for anyone who wants to know how this turns out.
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Long copy pasta but worth it:
It was a project where we Italians decided to teach Zambian people how to grow food. So we arrived there with Italian seeds in southern Zambia in this absolutely magnificent valley going down to the Zambezi River. And we taught the local people how to grow Italian tomatoes and zucchini. And of course, the local people had absolutely no interest in doing that so we paid them to come and work, and sometimes they would show up. And we were amazed that the local people in such fertile valley, would not have any agriculture. But instead of asking them how come they were not growing anything, we simply said, “Thank God we’re here. Just in the nick of time to save the Zambian people from starvation.”
And of course, everything in Africa grew beautifully and we had these magnificent tomatoes. In Italy, a tomato would grow to this size. In Zambia, to this size. And we were telling the Zambians, look how easy agriculture is. When the tomatoes were nice and ripe and red, overnight, some 200 hippos came up from the river and they ate everything. And we said to the Zambians, “My God, the hippos.” And the Zambians said, “Yes, that’s why we have no agriculture here.” We said, “Why didn’t you tell us?” They said, “You never asked.” I thought it was only us Italian’s blundering around Africa, but then I saw what the Americans were doing, what the English were doing, what the French were doing. And after seeing what they were doing, I became quite proud of our project in Zambia because, you see, at least we fed the hippos.
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BBC has them sixth most dangerous.
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Colombia. It’s the name of a big country. It’s printed in all caps on most atlases. It’s even spelled right on the quote you pasted in the middle of the article. Shouldn’t be so hard.
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Lol, didn’t Dan Ariely quote that in one of his TED talks? I think it was the TED talk for Predictably Irrational?
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I think it’s sad when a psychotic drug lord brings home a tiny cute hippo and then just flushes it when it gets too big and troublesome. A cocaine hippo is for life, not just for Christmas.
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Needs more @SeamusBellamy
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Pablo Escobar’s hippos are fitting in better than Hermann Göring’s raccoons. They’re certainly unlikely to invade the attic.
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I can’t believe I missed that, amidst dealing with a number of medical issues and worrying about whether My family has everything they need for the coming days. Auto correct has betrayed me.
I’m headed outside, right now, to hug a postal carrier, lick one of the packages he’s carrying and touch my face repeatedly.
Thank you for bringing this important matter, amidst a sea of terrible news, plague and fear, to my attention. It’s going to make a big difference, for everyone.
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Nuh uh
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Maybe ? I didn’t know who Dan Ariely was before your comment. But thank you … that book looks really interesting.
Fantastic book
Pablo’s hippos, for instance, are similar in diet and size to the now-extinct giant llamas that once roamed the area.
Giant llamas‽ 
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For long.
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Not that anyone asked the Italians to just go to Zambia uninvited and grow tomatoes or anything, but the locals could have just told them the hippos would come eat the tomatoes. I have to commend them on their patient trolling of just waiting, looking at each other knowingly, silently snickering, assured that when those weird foreigners would be at the peak of excitement about their awesome produce, the hippos would come.
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