Seven-foot crocodile swimming in Ohio creek near kids' church group

boing
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It’s that darned inscrutable plan!

(i.e. the greatest argument of evar)

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If God was protecting them, why the fuck did He even put a goddam croc there in the first place? The guy is inept at best.

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“Chomp, chomp.”

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“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players (i.e., everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won’t tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time .”

~Terry Prachett
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Dr Nick says “Too much saltwater Croc is bad for the arteries”.

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Because:

  1. He has a sick sense of humor
  2. He takes credit for everything, that fame-slut
  3. You can’t get good minions these days. These are the ones he is stuck with.
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Misunderstanding the difference between a freshwater crocodile and a saltwater crocodile is a potentially fatal problem in northern Australia.
Freshwater crocodiles are small, timid and only live in fresh water.
Saltwater crocodiles are large, aggressive and capable of living in saltwater.

But, capable of living in salt, doesn’t mean they won’t live in fresh (and most of them do).

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The crocodile looks to be an endangered American crocodile ( Crocodylus acutus ),
not a saltie ( Crocodylus porosus ) native to India, Southeast Asia and northern Australia.

Only one crocodile attack has ever been recorded in America. A couple, swimming in a Florida canal each got bitten before they swam away from the crocodile that in turn swam away from the menace.

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It’s God’s protection racket.

Now the guy’s got God as a partner. Any problems, he goes to God. Trouble with heretics, he can go to God. Trouble with the Egyptians, Hittites, he can call on God. But now the guy’s got to come up with God’s worship every week. No matter what. Business bad? **** you, worship me. Oh, you had a fire? **** you, worship me. The place got hit by lightning, huh? **** you, worship me.

— Book of Jobfellas

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that was supposed to be a joke??? :joy:

i don’t feel so bad if even superman couldn’t spot that one. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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