Sex probably won't give you a heart attack

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Challenge accepted!

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78% percent of heart attack victims failed to do this one weird thing in the 24 hours before their heart attack.

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they were obviously doing it wrong

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What else do old people do to get their heart rate further into the danger zone? Rob banks?

Watch Fox News?

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At least not until you see the bill.

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Hmmmm… I’ve been looking for a new pick-up line…

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There goes my best-case-scenario in the “things I’m likely to die of” department.

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78% of people said they hadn’t had sex within 24 hours before their heart attack? Sounds as if sex is negatively correlated with a heart attack - more than 22% of the time I’ve had sex within the last 24 hours.

At least you can still hope for “heat death of the universe.”

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It’s not sex that causes the heart attack. It’s trying to get dressed and out the back door before her husband comes in the front door.

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Challenge accepted!

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If you have to go, that’s the way to do it, eh?
With agonising chest pain.

At the hands of a jealous lover at the age of 95?

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So what was the probability of having had sex on a non-heart attack hour/day?

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This reminds me of my favorite dietetics fact: Sex is excellent exercise because you can burn 60 calories per minute, but the averages on how long the average sexual encounter lasts indicates that it’s not a viable alternative to exercise.

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You mean, this wasn’t a documentary? But it was in black & white and everything!

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It apparently happens enough that the Japanese have a word for it: 腹上死 or “fukujoushi”.

腹 means “stomach”, 上 means “on” and 死 means “death” so it’s literally “death on [someone else’s] stomach”.

Without a doubt my favourite word in Japanese.

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That has to be awkward for the other person. “I thought he’d just fallen asleep - the climax did seem a bit dramatic though”.

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