Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/07/23/sharks-test-positive-for-cocaine.html
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After a waterspout sank a drug cartel’s smuggling ship the cocaine it was carrying infused a nearby group of sharks.
Coming soon: Cocaine Sharknado!
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So if you’re sniffing coke off the battery in your electric boat, and it sinks, and there’s a shark nearby . . .
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…and the late great Hannibal Lecter is having a friend for dinner…
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The wolves of Wall Street had better watch their back; I’d bet on cocaine sharks any day.
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How are sharks supposed to roll a hundred dollar bill?
Nothing about this makes sense…
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I hate it when you’re trying to use the restroom in a nightclub and there’s just a long line of sharks doing coke in there. And when you go “Uh, guys, can I get past to wash my hands?” they just look at you with those cold dead eyes and show off their teeth. Seriously awkward.
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@DiveGirl, you watching this? You are in danger!!
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But are they less dangerous than a bear-nado?
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Wait a minute… 
Cocaine is processed in the liver.
South African orcas are hunting sharks and just eating the livers.
Spanish orcas are hunting yachts, which are also rich sources of cocaine.
So, the pitch is: sharks thrown onto yachts by waterspouts then being sunk by coke-addicted orcas.
Quick, someone call The Asylum…
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With some fava beans and a nice Chianti?
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Thankfully, I mostly stick to inland caves in Floriduh. I can probably defeat a meth-addled blind cave crawfish. Probably. 
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Yet.
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One of the authors of this study said in Instagram they didn’t found drugs in shark livers. She said they’ve found the cocaine in the fishes’ muscles. She said It suggests the chronic use of this substance, that is, the sharks have been full of cocaine for some time.
She also suggests that sharks, as they are at the top of the food chain, are consuming many fish and other animals impregnated with the white powder. It seems like all the animals in the sea are getting higher and higher.
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This needs to happen….!
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Well, whaddaya know.
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Yikes. How much cocaine is in the ocean? Or where did these sharks / fish lower on the food chain get it?
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I dunno, hostile crustaceans can get ornery.
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