She just wanted beer


If it had been my house I have a feeling things might have taken an ugly turn when I said, “All I’ve got is fancy microbrewed stuff. That okay?”

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Of course, I immediately imagined her saying that with Helena’s accent from Orphan Black.


I saw an old episode of Cops or some show. They were chasing a guy in his pickup, driving erratically. They chased him for 30 minutes. Then they laid down spike strips and blew all his tires. He kept driving until the tires disintegrated off the rims. Then he drove on the rims. When those overheated, he slid off the road and into a ditch. When they peeled him out of his truck, he declared through inebriated sobs, “I need a beer!”

Drunks. There’s no stoppin’ em. Throw her in jail. She needs to sober up.

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Well, I wonder what part of Flo…She’s from Illinois?!? HAHA, Illinois sux! Yeah! What’s up, Ill-A-Noying? HAHA!!!

What’s that you say?

Florida man refuses judge's order, claims he is a sovereign state


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In post-Soviet diaspora, article of speech drink you.


All she wanted was a Pepsi. Just one Pepsi.


So that guy who called 911 seven times was telling the truth!

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And my mind just turns to Pepsi and I couldn’t tell you why.

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