SkyMall files for bankruptcy

Skymall didn’t go bankrupt because no one was buying their wares.

They went bankrupt because no one could fit their hands into the seat front pocket in front of them because their knees were firmly wedged against it.

Their only sales came from people sitting next to a rare vacant seat, or a child.


What could possibly be better?

Of course, bankruptcy doesn’t mean the end.

SkyMall could adjust with the times, producing a catalog consisting of an eight mimeographed pages with advertisements for boner pills, multilevel marketing schemes, and Burn Fast Fat diet plans.

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Oh, that would be me. I have an animatronic chimpanzee bust sourced from SkyMall. Also a lawn zombie.

I swear, the only reason I don’t have a houseful of their shit is because I fly so rarely.


Maybe the issue is not Sky Mall but the company behind them:

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For that price you can have a whole kilogram of the europium-doped strontium aluminate pigment, high-luminosity grade. Should be enough to make the whole restroom glowing radioactive-green.


You can get one of those cheaper at any big-box store these days! It seems some of the more popular crap gets to be at Walmart.

I’ll just wait till black friday and get trampled to death.
I hope they have Sasquatch lawn statues, too.


Currently on their website: “There are changes in the air, but we’re still here! Place your order today.”

That would be slightly more dishonest if it accompanied a Chapter 7 filing, rather than 11; but seriously? Do you want to learn where ‘dumb suckers who paid for products that we didn’t ship’ rank on the list of creditors? Not. Very. High.


This is truly a sad day. Laughing at all the terrible products in SkyMall helps me cope with my fear of flying. Looks like it’s back to alcohol and sedatives.


Or as I think of it in my job: Mondays.


Skymall? OH yeah you mean that pamphlet they put on airplanes from which I’d order anything I actually wanted on Amazon for up to 75% less than the catalog price? I’m gonna miss those guys.


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