Someone invented a "Safe Space Desk” for school shootings

Originally published at: Someone invented a "Safe Space Desk" for school shootings. | Boing Boing




That’s right, forget about sensible gun policy, we must spare no expense in protecting America’s most precious and valuable resource: your precious, precious guns. Now crawl into your lightless terror cage, little Timmy!
Edit: Holy shit, they’re hitting all the dogwhistles, aren’t they? “Safe Space Desk”. “All lives, children’s lives, matter.” They do know their audience.


It’s a perfect representation of the strangely defensive and fearful mindset of some in the US, like the gargantuan SUVs or the Tesla cybertruck.


Just wait for the republicans to tell us Mass school shootings of children are to be encouraged as they’re good for the economy.

It spurs innovation and creative marketing.

It’s almost as good as charging for healthcare, water and land.


Pre-pandemic, school shootings were a legitimate concern. At least one a day in the US on average.

Pretty sure we don’t have schools burning down or getting knocked over by earthquakes every day, yet we still have kids do earthquake and fire drills.

Since schools have more or less been closed for a year, we haven’t had so many school shootings.

So by republican logic, shutting down schools would be the preferable solution to school shootings over even once enforcing or enacting any kind of gun control.


Well, there’s your first mistake.

Glibness aside, it’s sad, but these sort of arguments of hypocrisy/inconsistency never work (not to suggest you don’t know that) since it’s all about power and any means to attain it. Hence the gun control stuff, abortion stuff, voter suppression, Turnip, and just about every other part of their “policy,” such as it is.



Instead let’s invent a “Safe Gun and Gun-Nut Desk” wherein we can put all the guns and their worshipers (with a timelock set for 5 billion years, when the sun will swell and finally melt all those metal totems).


The solution is not treating the symptoms but the underlying issues. To stop school shootings we need to tackle the mental health issues of students, bettering their education, and addressing bullying in a meaningful way (besides the obvious changes needed in gun laws). Until then i suppose a desk like this is something to consider but i see it as throwing money at the wrong problem


If anything, most students face less threat of bullying and sexual assault during the times of day when they are all seated at their desks. It’s all the other times that they have to be on their highest guard.

All the people selling this overpriced anti-school-shooting gear seem to be preparing for hypothetical scenarios that bear almost no resemblance to how actual attacks are likely to play out.


Peak ‘stochastic terrorism’ capitalism


Good news is they come with optional casters, for only slightly more than the cost of Apple Mac Pro wheels. Problem solved.

How hard could it be to test this thing out by shooting it? Could they not find a gun owner in Mississippi, ffs? According to an online calculator I just found, a 55mph bowling ball has more kinetic energy than a 5.56mm rifle round. And yet I feel skeptical that the two would produce comparable effects on the “ballistic” material. And I’m curious how that material deforms when absorbing that energy. If the desk stops the bowling ball but liquifies its occupant, some might consider that a fail.

Everything about this sounds like the sort of scammer that gravitates toward Trump supporters. Hopefully he’s genuine in his desire to help, and my skepticism is unwarranted. Speaking as someone who grew up in tornado alley, I can see how this could be desirable from that standpoint. Wonder what kind of load it will support.


A few days ago it was the 25th anniversary of the Dunblane massacre, in which 16 children and one teacher were murdered, the worst mass shooting in UK history. In the aftermath the UK government banned private ownership of handguns.

In the US there’s multiple school shootings every year, some with numbers far exceeding those of Dunblane. And what’s the solution? Not stricter controls over gun ownership but bulletproof backpacks and desks made out of safes. The world looks on in confusion.


I got nothing, not a fu#king thing…


Now why would this be necessary?


Yes, the reason they refuse to do anything about gun violence is because it allows them to sell more shit to a population held hostage to their worship of weapons of death. Capitalism’s ultimate triumph is to turn violence into more profits, and it’s been exceedingly good at it for centuries.


After Sandy Hook, I gave up any idea that things will ever change. This is 100% the fault of rich entitled Republicans who don’t give two shits about the world, as long as they get what their piece.

Seriously, treat a gun like a car, sensible rules and regulations, require proof of insurance, a test to get a license, national registry like we do with cars, and make people liable for their actions. Critically, make insurance companies responsible for any loss of life, and you will see rates go up, making it too expensive to keep a gun, and that will drive down ownership.

But no, after Sandy Hook, I’ve decided that Republicans would rather children die than lose any of the power they’ve obtained.