Star Wars, but it gets faster every time a shot is fired


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/12/27/star-wars-but-it-gets-faster.html


#2

That was so fast I didn’t even see Alderaan blown up.


#3

I was thinking when Han shot Greedo would do it for me, but yeah, that whizzed by pretty fast.


#4

WTF was the point of that? Yeah, every one knows Star Wars has a lot of blaster shots. Its not called Star Tea Party.


#5

In a way the Rebellion was looking for Smaller Government.


#6

Coming January 2017!

STAR
DEPLORABLES


#7

“It’s just… so… beautiful…”
– Teary-eyed George Lucas


#8

It’s in there


#9

You’re far too trusting.


#10


#11

I want to see one with Casino that speeds up every time someone says “fuck”


#12

Nobody fires any lasers in Star Wars.

Also, Special Edition? Come on, man.


#13

Ahem…


#14

Yeah, yeah, and there’s “turbolasers” too, but clearly none of those are actual lasers. Maybe they use lasers to heat the plasma bolts or something?


#15

Well, lightsabers obviously aren’t swords or made of light. But no one’s going to call them spooling self-rigidizing high-energy plasma filaments.

I also always felt that a blaster acted a lot like an electrolaser, except for firing too slowly. See for yourself…


#16

They’re _light_sabers because they’re not heavy. I haven’t been able to retcon why a straight bladed weapon with infinite edges is called a saber though. It was a long time ago, in a galaxy far away; maybe it’s just an error in translation.


#17

I believe Lucas originally called lightsabers laser swords?


#18

With the current horridness of the world, you ask this…?


#19

#20

I can’t find a good torrent, so can someone please do Star Wars, but it gets faster every time a stormtrooper hits their target.